The Dancing Moon
by dreaminorm
Summary: A story of love, betrayal and hope. The story of Charlie and Joey beginning with the car scene.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

The moon danced across the water. The waves rippled across the sand. The night was so peaceful yet inside Charlie everything was at war. Her heart, her mind, her entire body. Staring out into the night she drew upon the beauty of the ocean to calm herself for a second, long enough to let the words being to flow. Once they started she felt them pouring from her, taking with them all the fear and confusion that had been eating her up inside. Slowly but surely the fog in her heart began to clear, and she could finally see where her path ahead lay; with Joey.

"I think I love you too" For the first time in weeks Charlie's mind was silent, all she could hear was the beating of her heart. It was beating like crazy, but when she looked at Joey she thought her chest might explode. She looked so happy, she was trying to remain calm, yet she couldn't contain the smile that spread across her face. _She loves me_, thought Charlie. Even after all I'd done. If only I'd been brave enough to tell her sooner.

"Do you want to be with me?" The question was filled with such longing, such hope and with those few words Charlie finally found herself at peace. She had finally found someone who loved her for who she was, who understood her, who made her feel safe and warm. She didn't want to fight anymore, she couldn't contain all the love that was fighting to explode from her.

"Yes I do. I want to be with you."

Time slowed, the sound of the ocean melted into silence, their world became the four walls of the car. Charlie felt the electricity swirling through the air, coursing through her, pulling her towards Joey for a kiss that sent fireworks through her heart. The kiss was tender, filled with love. It melted away the heartbreak of the last few weeks, and held promises of sunshine and happiness. The kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime, and Charlie didn't want it to end. As the need for air slowly forced them apart, Charlie reluctantly parted from Joey's soft, sweet lips. She rested her forehead against Joey's, keeping her eyes closed as she let the power of the kiss wash over her. She was intoxicated. Her heart was racing, and she could no longer contain the happiness that was coursing through her. It bubbled forth from her in a smile that stretched from ear to ear. Yet still it came, and Charlie found herself starting to giggle like a school girl. They sat there with their hands entangled in each other's hair, their foreheads together, giggling, the happiness overtaking them. They reluctantly pulled apart to wipe away the tears from their eyes, both of them instantly missing the contact.

" Why did we wait so long?" Charlie managed through her giggles.

" Buggered if I know" Joey exclaimed as she lent in for another kiss.

Slowly time wore on, the moon wandered across the sky and the tide turned. Neither Joey nor Charlie noticed. Inside the safety of their little world the night seemed endless. They laughed and talked the night away, sharing stories of their lives, their hopes and dreams, their sorrows and joys. Their hands remained entwined, their eyes never leaving each other, except when they blissfully closed for the sharing of sweet, tender kisses.


	2. Chapter 2

Slowly the sun rose, turning the ocean deep reds and gold. The early morning rays broke through the windows  
of the small car, slowly bringing Charlie and Joey back to reality. For the first time that night they sat in silence,  
their hands entwined, watching the world appear around them once more. With each ray of light Charlie felt a  
tightening in her throat, as it dawned on her that they couldn't stay locked away in their own little world forever.  
The magic of the night was disappearing with the receding dark. The freedom and peace she had felt was slowly  
being tainted once more by fear. The fear of telling Ruby, of being judged by her friends and colleagues, and the  
fear of the not knowing what would come next in their relationship, was starting to eat at her once more.

As if she could sense the turmoil returning Joey gave Charlie's hand a tight squeeze, trying to convey all the love  
and support she could. With that simple gesture Charlie felt some of the fear recede, replaced once more  
with happiness. She could do this; she could face the world once more. She wasn't quite convinced but she hoped  
it would be enough. Pulling herself from her internal wanderings Charlie turned to face Joey, to swim once more in  
those golden brown eyes. Joey looked back with such love and sadness. Charlie felt a ice cold stab through her heart as she  
realised Joey was scared that with the new day would come a fresh heartbreak. Charlie squeezed Joey's hand back,  
trying to convey all the love she felt and the promise that she won't run this time. She hoped that Joey couldn't sense  
her lingering doubts. Some joggers ran by, their heavy feet and hard breathing finally bringing the two back to reality,  
the magic of the night gone. With great sadness Charlie untangled her hand from Joey's and drove away from the  
beach, and away from all the wonderful memories.


	3. Chapter 3

As Charlie drove towards the diner Joey slowly massaged her neck, trying to smooth out all the knots. With each jolt of pain a vivid flash of a long, lingering kiss or a new round of giggles flashed across Joey's eyes. Charlie loved her. She still couldn't believe it. Her heart was a mess of emotions; love, happiness and disbelief were raging a war she could barely contain. She kept mentally pinching herself and stealing glances at Charlie just to make sure this was true, and not a cruel joke played by the midnight moon. Charlie, the most beautiful, strong, caring person she had ever met was sitting beside her with ruffled hair, swollen red lips and an irresistible little frown of concentration as she weaved the car towards the diner. Joey wished they would never get there. She wanted to stay in the car forever, locked away in their own little world where only being together mattered. She knew that as soon as they left the car the world would come rushing back. That the questions and judging would start: Charlie is straight, she likes men/ Two girls shouldn't be together, it's unnatural/ How can you be in love so quickly/ Charlie is a cop, she has a reputation to maintain.... Joey was so scared of loosing Charlie to her insecurities again. Closing her eyes she remembered the countless times Charlie had whispered "I love you" during the night, each time with more conviction and passion. Joey had watched as Charlie slowly begun to unfurl, letting the happiness flow from her. She had never seen her so peaceful, so happy. Wrapped up in their own little world free from prejudices and pain, Charlie had opened her heart and soul to Joey, as had Joey in return. For one blissful night they had been free to love, until slowly but surely the morning rays of sunlight had chased away the magic of the night, leaving them once more in the cold light of day, surrounded by a world that didn't understand. Joey had watched as the fear slowly began to creep back into Charlie's eyes. She had squeezed her hand, trying in vain to let Charlie know that she loved her and that she would help her get through the pain that lay ahead. It had worked, if only for a moment. When Charlie had grasped her hand in return she knew Charlie was promising not to run again. With all her heart Joey tried to believe her, but at the back of her mind there still lingered a little shard of doubt.

As Charlie pulled the car over, Joey ran her hands through her hair, trying to pull all the doubts from her mind. She needn't have bothered because the moment they were parked Charlie immediately reached for hand, entwining their fingers once more. The warmth of her hand sent waves of joy coursing through Joey, fighting back all her doubts. Joey sat staring at their hands, yet again caught up in a sense of disbelief. She felt an overwhelming need for Charlie to understand just how amazing the last night had been.

"This time yesterday my heart was breaking and I was planning to be as far away from you as possible. I never thought this could actually happen." Joey watched as Charlie's expression became pained once more. "I'm sorry, I was so scared of what I was feeling" Joey didn't want Charlie to feel ashamed anymore, she had apologised and explained endlessly throughout the night, each time Joey trying to make her understand that she forgave Charlie, that she understood the struggle she must have been going through. She wanted Charlie to be free from that. "Are you still scared now?" Joey hoped their night together had at least rid Charlie's heart of this fear. Charlie turned to her, and slowly shook her head, a radiant smile full of love stretched across her face. In that moment Joey could feel once more the magic of last night return, as their world closed in around them and they were alone once more. "But it would be nice if we could just take off, find a place up the coast and hide away for a few days." Joey let the words wash over her and allowed her mind to wander. She came to rest on a small beach, gentle blue waves breaking against white gold sand. A small shack was nestled behind the dunes, filled with comfy chairs, piles of books and an endless supply of fresh food and seafood. "Sleep, swim, eat..." Joey thought of how simple their life could be, just the two of them, together. Charlie's eyes glimmered with a mutual dream, and Joey could see the happiness dance across her face. She didn't want to ruin the moment but she knew it was going to happen no matter how hard she tried to fight it. "Then reality would come crashing down." With a great sadness in her heart Joey watched as the happiness disappeared from Charlie's face once more. She saw the fear return, and wished with all her heart she could just kiss it away, but she knew it was never going to be that easy. "I want to tell Ruby, she needs to know first." Joey's heart skipped a beat with the words as the realisation dawned on her that Charlie wanted to figh the fear, that she wanted her loved ones to know, that she truly wanted to be with her. Charlie had been so strong for Joey, helping her through her darkest hours when Robbo had struck. Joey wanted, needed to be strong for Charlie. "Would it be easier if we told her together?" Joey pleaded with Charlie to let her in, to let her help, she wanted her to know she wasn't alone. But she chose to face Ruby alone, and Joey's heart wept. She felt Charlie start to pull away as the thought of how to tell Ruby began to take over her mind. Not wanting Charlie to see how her emotionally pulling away again was causing her heart to break once more, she made a move to leave, instantly missing the warmth of Charlie's hand. The shock of Charlie reaching out for her hand and pulling her back sent Joey's heart into a spin. Just a moment ago she thought that she was loosing Charlie again, but now Charlie was asking her to come over later, an embarrassed school girl grin on her face. She knew that simple request was a big step for Charlie, and she wanted to be sure. "Only if I you want me too?" Joey felt the electricity begin to build in the car as Charlie looked at her with such love and longing. "Of course I do" Joey's heart almost exploded for the 100th time that day and she just needed Charlie to know how much that meant to her. "I love you" Charlie didn't reply with words but rather a tender, love filled kiss right there in the sunlight for the world to see. Joey relished in the sweet taste of Charlie's lips, not wanting the moment to end. She couldn't begin to comprehend what turmoils and fears the rising sun had returned to Charlie's heart, yet here she was kissing her with such love, ignoring all the voices in her head, just to be with Joey. They were together, they loved each other, and in that moment it was all that mattered. Slowly they untwined their fingers, neither willing to let the other go, not wanting the night to end, and yet in that parting came the realisation that they were no longer alone, they had finally found each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Charlie's skin was burning, her heart was racing and her mind was awash with memories. It took every ounce of self control she had to drive away from Joey. All she wanted to do was run away with her, far away from all her doubts and fears, from everyone who wouldn't understand. Last night she had felt happier then she could have ever imagined. With every kiss she had sailed higher and higher through the stars. Each time she whispered "I love you" to Joey she had felt a cleansing fire rush over her, washing away all her fears. For one single, magical night it had just been her and Joey, and it had felt right. Just as it did moments ago when they'd kissed goodbye. Charlie couldn't believe that she had done that in broad daylight. But when Joey had said she loved her, her voice and eyes filled with such passion, there was little she could do to stop herself; she hadn't wanted to either. She needed to reassure Joey that she loved her still in the light of day and she knew that her actions would speak louder than three words. The look of pure happiness and love swimming across Joey's face as they broke away from the kiss had melted Charlie's heart, and it took all of her self control not to gather her into her arms and kiss her endlessly. But there was reality to deal with. There was Ruby.

Her coffee sat beside the sink half drunk and cold. She swirled her hands through the bubbles in the sink aimlessly, her mind flittering between memories of Joey and plans on how to break the news to Ruby. What was she going to tell Ruby? That she loved Joey, that she was going to be with her, that she was gay? Last night everything had been so simple, all that had mattered was that they were finally together. But now Charlie was on her own again, and the confusion began to swirl. She loved Joey, but did that mean she was gay? Had she always been gay? All her life she had been with men, and while she had never felt the same way with them as she did with Joey, it hadn't felt wrong either. Was she just reacting to Joey's feelings for her? NO. At least Charlie knew that wasn't true. She knew deep down this wasn't some rebound, some experiment. She loved Joey. But did she love herself? Society has a label for everything; gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual, straight. Where did she fit in? What would people think of her now? Would Ruby accept them, accept her? But how could Ruby accept her, if Charlie had no idea who she was now? If only she had the strength of conviction that Joey had. Joey. She was so strong, she knew who she was and she was proud. She didn't care what anyone else thought. Why couldn't she be the same?

Charlie was torn from her musings by the unexpected, and ill timed appearance of Ruby. Did she suspect something? Charlie tried to buy herself some time, questioning Ruby as to why she was out of school. "Please tell me I didn't see you kissing Joey in your car this morning?!" All the happy memories of Joey that had been playing through her mind earlier came crashing to the floor. A heavy sense of dread and fear washed over Charlie, causing her mind to panic, her throat constrict; what was she going to do? She wasn't ready. She didn't know the answers yet herself. In that moment she wished that Joey was there to help. Joey. A small ripple of calm spread over Charlie as she pictured Joey, her beautiful face full of love and happiness. Her Joey. It filled her with a small amount of courage, gave her the strength to start this conversation even though she didn't know where it lead.

"I dropped her off this morning and I gave her a kiss goodbye" Well it was the truth, somewhat, but Ruby wasn't buying it. "I saw you Charlie, I saw you pashing her!" Ruby was getting angry, the hurt of her betrayal was etched across her face. Charlie hadn't wanted it to happen this way. She hadn't wanted to go behind Ruby's back. There was nothing left but to start from the beginning. But before she could, Ruby's accusations started flying, her anger overtaking her. "You are not gay Charlie, so don't even think about going there." This cut deep into Charlie's heart in so many ways. The thought that Ruby couldn't accept her fought with the fear that perhaps she was right. But she owed Ruby an ansewer, the truth. "I don't know what I am, but I know that I am in love with Joey." As the words escaped her mouth she knew them to be true. She knew she couldn't hide behind her insecurities. She needed Ruby to understand that all that mattered was her love for Joey. Hell, she needed to know herself that was all that mattered. Love. She loved Joey. Charlie held onto that simple, pure thought, allowing it to give her strength. She needed it to stop the disbelief and disgust emanating from Ruby from tearing her apart. She needed it to continue on explaining. To aplogise to Ruby for finding out this way.

But there was nothing she could do. Ruby wasn't listening. She was overtaken by her emotions, her vision clouded by images of her sister she couldn't comprehend nor understand. Charlie watched, her heart breaking as her beautiful, open and sensitive sister became poisoned by fear and disgust. "I don't have a problem with people being gay Charlie. I have a problem with you, my straight sister, being gay!" The words cut through Charlie like a red hot knife. Ruby had always been there for her, she had held and defended her when Roman had broken her heart. Through all the dark nights that Charlie had cried herself asleep over Joey, there had been one constant to help her through. The thought of Ruby always being there. But now she was loosing her, because she had found love. The world seemed so cruel and full of hatred at that moment, causing the convinction in Charlie's heart to falter. Was loving Joey worth loosing Ruby? But Ruby wasn't done with the daggers yet, pouncing on Charlie's bad history with men. "Do you think pretending to be gay is going to turn out heaps better?!" Was she pretending? Her love for Joey was real whether she was gay or not. "I'm not pretending" Charlie knew this was avoiding the truth about her sexuality, but she wasn't ready to go there, she didn't know the answer. Ruby however, the ever observant sister, picked up on Charlie's lack of conviction, driving home with great force the final daggers of anger, breaking apart Charlie's newly mended heart. "You can say whatever you like, but I know you and you should not be doing this to Joey, it is totally not fair on her." Charlie could barely breath as she watched Ruby run from the house, from her. She felt her legs give way and she crumpled to the floor, hot tears streaking down her face. Once more she was lost, not knowing which way to turn.


	5. Chapter 5

* Just a quick update. I have the rest of this chapter ready, but its stuck in my mind and is refusing to leave. Perhaps some sleep would make for a good bribe?!*

Joey sat alone in the diner, pushing her half eaten breakfast around and around her plate, her mind miles away. A grin that hid a thousand golden secrets was stuck fast to her face, growing ever larger as she played the memory of last night over and over again."Charlie called in sick today so I'm going to need you to work a double Smith" Joey was ripped from her daydreams by the stressed voice of Charlie's co worker. Something wasn't right. Charlie the super cop would never call in sick. Joey's gut became twisted with worry, and she rose quickly from her chair, bumping into Colleen in the process. "Young people these days, always in a hurry" muttered Colleen to no one in particular. As soon as she was free from the confines of the diner Joey broke into a sprint, her mind racing even faster... was Charlie having second thoughts? Did someone find out? Concern for Charlie invaded her heart with every quick breath she took, forcing her onwards, faster and faster. In her heart Joey knew that something big was wrong, and she knew that Charlie needed her right now.

Catching her breath as she entered the kitchen, Joey looked and listened for any signs of life in the house. She noticed half done dishes in the sink, a cold cup of half drunk coffee sitting abandoned on the bench. As she made her way into the lounge room she heard a sound that wrenched her heart in two; Charlie crying. Joey made her way hastily to Charlie's room, pausing at the door, unsure of her next move. She so desperately wanted to rush in there, to comfort Charlie, tell her everything would be alright. But what if Charlie didn't want her there? What if she was the cause of her anguish? Her path was chosen for her as she stole a glimpse through the door. Joey's world shattered as she saw what had become of her beautiful, strong Charlie. She lay curled up on her bed in the foetal position, still dressed in the clothes of the night before. She was shaking, her body shuddering as she cried endlessly. All her strength was gone, she was alone and broken. Joey couldn't bear it any longer. She climbed silently onto the bed behind Charlie and wrapped her in her arms, protecting her from the world. "I'm here, I'm not letting you go, I love you, it will be okay" Joey repeated these words over and over again as she rocked Charlie back and forth. Slowly she felt Charlie begin to melt into the embrace, the crying and shuddering eased and was replaced by heavy breathing as Charlie fell asleep. Joey felt her eyelids grow heavy as the emotions of the last hours took their toll. Her last thought before she drifted to sleep was of Charlie, as it had been every night since they first met.


	6. Chapter 6

Slowly Charlie awoke from of her dreamless sleep. As the fog around her mind began to clear she was slowly enveloped by overwhelming feelings of peace, safety and love. The source of this happiness was nuzzled into her neck, her arms wrapped tightly around Charlie, protecting her. In that moment Charlie felt a surge of love for Joey course through her, chasing away all the pain caused by Ruby. This was right. She truly did love Joey. She wasn't lost anymore, she had been found by the most wonderful, caring and funny person she had ever met. Charlie repeated Joey's mantra over and over in her head. "I'm here, I'm not letting you go, I love you, it will be okay" With every word Charlie found strength, she found hope. She still had no idea who she was, or what all this meant for her sexuality, but she knew she loved Joey and she knew she could make Ruby understand. With Joey by her side she knew she would have the strength to face all these demons.

Charlie began slowly running her fingers lightly up and down the smooth skin of Joey's arm. She marvelled in the sensations this sent tingling through her fingers. Trying ever so hard not to wake Joey, Charlie slowly turned in her embrace until they were facing each other. The sight of Joey sleeping so peacefully caused butterflies to swarm in her belly. She gingerly reached out a hand to brush an errant bit of golden brown hair behind Joey's ear, before returning to slowly stroke her face, memorizing every detail as she went. Slowly Joey's eyes began to open, and when she was finally able to focus on the loving face of Charlie, a thousand watt smile spread across her face. "Good morning sunshine" croaked Joey. "Hi" was all Charlie was able to get out. They lay there staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours until the loud grumbling of Charlie's belly broke the spell. Giggling, Joey playfully poked Charlie in the belly, declaring "Alright missy, its time to get you feed! I'll make some lunch, you take a shower!" She finished off the sentence with a tirade of tickles before expertly jumping from the bed and running to the kitchen before Charlie could launch a counter attack. Charlie lay there on the bed for a couple of minutes, giggling like a schoolgirl, until the need to be around Joey forced her from the bed and into the shower, as ordered.

"So what happened Charlie?" They had been chewing on their sandwiches in a comfortable silence, each just enjoying the warmth and happiness of being in the other's presence. Charlie took a deep breath and repeated Joey's mantra in her heard before she began the story of how her world had been crushed. "Ruby. She saw us kissing this morning, and came back here to confront me. It was horrible Joey. I've never seen her so angry, so upset, so disgusted. She accused me of using you for some experiment. She said there was no way that I was gay, that she couldn't, wouldn't accept it. She was so cruel. So closed to me. I had betrayed her by not telling her what's going on and she couldn't forgive me. She couldn't understand. I told her that I had no idea whether this meant I was gay or not, but that I did know that I love you, and that it feels right. But she didn't listen, and she ran away, she left me." Charlie felt a weight lift from her shoulders as the words left her, taking their bitterness with them. She felt the warmth of Joey's hand on her shoulder urging her to look up. Eyes filled with such love and compassion, and a smile that could melt an iceberg met her. "You told her you loved me?! Charlie you have no idea how much that means to me. I'm so proud of you, I know telling Ruby was never going to be easy, and to have her find out this way... I'm here for you now. We can get through this. She will understand because she loves you." Charlie knew that Joey was right but she was just so frustrated by how things had turned out.

"If only she hadn't seen us kissing, if only I'd had a chance to speak with her, I know she would've handled it a lot better." Charlie felt the frustration building inside her.

"Of course she would, but you knew this was going to be a shock for her no matter how she found out." Joey as always, was the voice of reason.

"But she wasn't just in shock though, she was in complete denial and that's what upsets me the most. I know for a fact that if I'd declared my love for any guy she would have been over the moon!" Charlie could feel her anger and hurt rising. The injustice of the whole situation left bitterness her mouth. She loved Joey. She didn't want to be punished for that. "It feels right being with you, and I hate being made to feel like its not. I don't want to have to apologise for loving you. I just want to be happy for us!" Charlie felt Joey reach out a reassuring hand to stroke her face, and with that simple touch she felt the anger dissolve once more.  
"Then be happy for us" Offered Joey. In those few words she had highlighted all that was important. Being happy, together. If they were happy, then Ruby would come to understand. Joey pulled Charlie in for a kiss that spoke of love and support, and Charlie let the sensation take her away from all her worries, to a place where it was just she and Joey, and they were happy.

Her happiness wasn't to last as their kiss was interrupted by the entrance of Ruby. "You can't be serious!!!" Charlie's heart shattered as she realised that Ruby had caught them once more, knowing that she would feel even more betrayed and hurt. Charlie ran after Ruby, pleading with her not to run away again. How could this be going so wrong? Thankfully Ruby answered her pleas, coming back into the house to face her. "You know what I came home to tell you that I love you and to offer you my support or whatever, but that doesn't mean I'm not totally freaked out by all this! And you shoving this in my face is not what I need!" As the venom and disgust in Ruby's words washed over her, Charlie felt the anger inside return. She was angry at how hurtful and selfish Ruby was being. She wasn't doing anything wrong!

"How the hell was I to know you were coming home?!" Charlie felt the panic begin to rise again, as Ruby's face became so twisted by anger. "I only live here Charlie!" She felt Ruby spit out the words, condemning her and Joey to love only in some back alley, not in the warmth of her own home, one she shared with Ruby. She was pushing Charlie from her home, from her life because she loved Joey. Joey. Charlie felt a surge of strength run through her as she thought of Joey. Charlie was going to fight for her; she was going to fight for Ruby. She needed to know how much she was hurting.

"Ruby you are not being fair! The only reason Joey came over is because I was so upset by how you reacted when I told you we were together. I felt so lost, so sick, so heartbroken. She came here to be with me, because she loves me. And I love her Ruby, I need you to understand that!" Charlie pleaded for Ruby to listen, but the words fell on deaf ears.

"Can you please stop saying that!" Ruby was freaking out and her denial continued to stab Charlie in the heart. She could feel the strength of her convictions leaving her, the tears started to well in her eyes. In that moment of need Joey came, putting her arm around Charlie, saving her from her anguish. Charlie felt the love and support emanating from Joey, calming her. She had come to save her again. Charlie knew that with Joey by her side she could face anything. Joey pleaded with Ruby to listen, to let Charlie explain. "Please Rubes?!' begged Charlie. But the hurt was too deep, and Ruby ran from the kitchen, from her, once more. Charlie turned to Joey, who wrapped her tightly in her arms, holding her as the hot tears returned for the second time that day. She whispered over and over again in Charlie's ear "I'm here, I'm not letting you go, I love you, it will be okay."


	7. Chapter 7

Charlie and Joey sat silently together on the pier, making patterns in the still blue water with their toes. Charlie had moulded herself into Joey's side, her head resting on her shoulder. She felt safe and happy, Joey's arm wrapped around her waist, protecting her from harm. But the anger and hurt from Ruby's rejection was still fresh in her heart. "Why does this have to be so hard Joey? Why should loving you bring pain to my family? I have never felt so happy. I have never fallen so heavily in love. You are all I think about, all I want, all I need. I love you Joey, why can't she understand, why can't she be happy for us?"

Joey squeezed Charlie tighter, and placed feather light kisses across her forehead, sending waves of comfort through Charlie. She didn't think she'd have been strong enough to face all this without Joey. "She will come around Charlie, she loves you. This must be a shock for her. She has seen you fall in and out of love with men. She has known all your deepest desires, your hidden schoolgirl crushes, all of which have been about men. It's out of concern for you Charlie that she is questioning this. She doesn't want your heart to be broken again by rushing into something she believes that you don't really want, that isn't right for you."

Charlie heard the logic in Joey's words, but she just couldn't accept them. "Did Ruby think I just jumped into this without thought? That I thought I'd try being gay because I've had bad luck with men? That this is some silly fling? I know this has happened quickly but to me it feels like its taken years. If only she would listen! I'd tell her of the countless nights I agonised over this. How my feelings for you tore me apart, one moment filling me with joy the next ripping me apart with fear for what all this meant. How I had run away because I thought that being away from you would stop the feelings. But it hadn't, and being apart from you only made the feelings grow stronger, clearer."

Joey held Charlie tightly, letting the words flow from her. Charlie couldn't stop them. Everything she had kept inside of her over the past few weeks wasn't going to be contained anymore. She didn't want it to. As much as she needed to hear the words for herself, to justify why she was right and Ruby was so horribly wrong, Charlie realised that Joey also deserved to know the truth of her feelings.

"That still I had run from loving you because I couldn't face what the rest of the world would think of me. I cried myself to sleep every night, fighting my feelings, punishing myself for loving you because everyone told me it wasn't right. I pushed you away, hurting you time and time again, for her sake, and because I was a coward, scared of the opinion of everyone else in Summer Bay." Charlie was disgusted with herself.

"Yet you continued to love me, you weathered every blow because you understood; you were the first person to truly know me. No one had ever fought for me, and what I love the most is you weren't fighting to be with me but to free me from myself. To free me from my chains, so I'd be free to love, to be happy with who I am, whatever that may mean. You wanted me to stop thinking of others over myself. No one has ever known me more truthfully, seen through my mask and fought for me when I couldn't help myself. It was your unwavering love and belief in me that gave me the strength to free myself, allowing me to finally love you because I wanted to, needed to and because it was right! I just wish Ruby would understand how much I love you!!" Charlie felt the words rush from her and she stared out across the water, watching all the bad memories of the last few weeks float away into the cloudless sky.

"Thank you" Joey's simple whisper was barely audible over the creaking of the boats. Charlie raised her head from Joey's shoulder to find tears streaming down Joey's cheeks. Silently she kissed them all away; each kiss an apology for all the hurt that she had caused. Charlie took Joey's face in her hands and stared into her golden brown eyes before kissing her with all the love and passion she had. She kissed her for all the times she wished she had; when they had been running along the beach, that day on the boat, when she had returned from the city and when Joey had been leaving and she wanted her to stay. She kissed her to take away the pain and hurt. Charlie let her hands wander through her hair, down Joey's back and around her waist. She relished in the touch, wanting to claim every inch of Joey for herself. She felt Joey respond, gently pushing her down until she was lying beneath Joey, her back on the rough wooden pier. Joey explored Charlie's body with her hands, leaving a path of burning flesh in her wake. Joey kissed her passionately, letting go of all the hurt she had suffered. Charlie felt on fire, her heart sang and her mind exploded with all the sensations.

Their passionate embrace however was interrupted by heavy footsteps coming down the pier. "Oi get a room you two!!" Both girls looked up in horror and embarrassment, they had completely forgotten where they were. Luckily they were met by the grinning face of Aden. "I left my bag on the boat. I guess Nic owes me dinner?! I'll catch you later Joey!" Aden ran quickly back up the peir leaving Joey and Charlie lying in shock on the pier. Unable to stop themselves they broke into hysterical giggles. "I think we need a cold shower!" declared Charlie gently pushing off Joey before another round of giggles overtook her. Charlie lay on her back staring at the sky, her eyes watering from laughing so hard. Her vision was interrupted by Joey thrusting her hand out, pulling Charlie to her feet. "I agree" said Joey, a mischievous grin upon her face. Before she could realise what was going on Joey had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her off the edge of the pier, sending them both flying into the cool blue water. They surfaced, erupting into a chorus of giggles and shrieks. Charlie playfully scowled at Joey, before declaring war and launching an unforgiving splash attack. The two girls splashed and laughed, happiness enveloping them, Ruby and all she represented forgotten for now.


	8. Chapter 8

Charlie and Joey raced back to the house, neither willing to let the other loose. After Joey had pulled Charlie into the water they had proceeded to muck around like care free kids. Joey had been mesmerized by Charlie. The way her eyes sparkled as she laughed, how she got that crinkle in her forehead as she concentrated on splashing Joey with as much as possible. The cold water had not diminished the fire that Charlie's kiss had ignited in her. Her whole body was buzzing and she blushed as she thought of what might of happened had Aden not shown up. She knew that Charlie loved her, but she didn't expect so much passion, especially as she was still so confused by her sexuality and Ruby's hurtful words were still so fresh. Oh how Joey wished she could help; if she could only get Ruby to listen to Charlie. She knew that if she heard everything that Charlie had just told her she'd understand. The power and heart breaking honesty of Charlie's words still rocked Joey. Last night they had shared so many secrets, so many stories, but neither of them had been ready to bring up the past few weeks. The night was too magical to be tarnished with the hurt that would conjure up again. She had known that Charlie had loved her since the boat, but she'd had no idea of the magnitude of her feelings, nor how badly she had punished herself over and over for the sake of others. She knew it was selfish of her, but knowing that Charlie had hurt as badly as she had each time she had thrown her aside made it all seem worthwhile. It reassured her that she had been fighting for something that was worth saving. Charlie's heartfelt apology had freed Joey of all the hurt and anger that her continuous rejections had caused her. Happiness and relief had poured from her silently, her hot tears washing away the pain. Then there was the kiss. Joey's mind began to wander again, allowing Charlie to speed off, oblivious to Joey's day dreaming.

When Joey finally caught up to Charlie back at the house, she was rudely shaken from her musings by the sight of Charlie fighting with Ruby once more. Charlie was holding onto Ruby's arm, trying to keep her from getting into a taxi.

"Let me go Charlie. I need some space. I need to get away from you and HER." Ruby spat the words at Charlie with all the venom she could muster. "Ruby please stay. Let me explain. Ruby I need you. Please don't go!" Charlie was madly pleading with Ruby, grabbing at her arms, grabbing the door, trying everything to stop her. "You're not gay Charlie! I know you. I'll be back in a few days, sort yourself out while I'm gone! Oh and don't worry I won't tell Dad and Morag your dirty little secret." With those final scathing words laced with hurt and anger, Ruby ripped herself from Charlie and was gone, the taxi speeding down the street leaving Charlie broken and in shock.

Joey ran to her side and gathered Charlie into her arms. She held her tightly as Charlie fought against her, screaming after Ruby, her arms flailing at her sides as she desperately tried to get away from Joey and run after the taxi. Joey could the feel the hurt and anger rising in Charlie and she found it harder and harder to hold her. Joey started shouting at Charlie to stop. She yelled at Charlie until her throat was hoarse. Finally she began to feel Charlie give up, as the realisation that Ruby had left her slowly sunk in. Joey started to move them towards the house, but Charlie refused to go with her "I need to be on my own Joey. I need some space." All the blood drained from Joeys face and she felt time come to a screeching holt. This was not happening. Not now. Not again. She started to pull free from Charlie, but Charlie held strong, lifting her chin, forcing her to look her in the eye. What she found there was not the bitter rejection she expected but love shrouded in confusion. "Sorry Joey, that came out wrong. I'm just so hurt by Ruby's rejection. I need some time on my own, to figure out what this all means for me. I know you want to be with me right now. I know you just want to help me, but I need to do this on my own. Everything is happening so fast and not how I wanted it to. I just need to clear my head and I can't do that with you here. Do you understand?" Joey nodded her head meekly and managed to force out a half convincing yes. But inside she was screaming NO, NO NO! She couldn't understand why Charlie was pulling away from her again. Not after last night, not after today, not after that kiss! Everything she had said about needing her, about Joey knowing her better than anyone, had she really meant that? She heard a quiet yes from her heart but it was drowned out by the hurt of being pushed away. Joey gave Charlie a weak kiss before turning and fleeing down the street. She didn't want Charlie to see her cry but she didn't care how obvious she was making her pain be. She heard Charlie calling after her, and she felt a stab of guilt in her heart for causing Charlie even more pain on top of Ruby's. But still Joey ran, her dark brown hair flying out behind her, her sopping wet clothes clinging to he,r making it hard to run, but she pushed on, welcoming the pain.

Joey sat alone on the pier where only hours ago she held melted into Charlie's embrace. She could still feel the heat in the boards caused by their passion and see their happiness reflected in the water. She could still hear Charlie's words on the breeze. "...you were the first person to truly know me. No one had ever fought for me, and what I love the most is you weren't fighting to be with me but to free me...You wanted me to stop thinking of others over myself." Joey let the words wash over her again and again, and each time she felt the anger and rejection in her heart become replaced by guilt and shame. She had convinced Charlie to think of herself over others and then had punished her for doing that by not understanding her need for space. She had no right to treat Charlie the way she did. Joey had forgotten that this time yesterday Charlie had still been avoiding her feelings, locking them away. She had taken a giant leap in finally giving into her heart. Joey knew without a doubt that Charlie loved her deeply, but it was still going to take time for her to come to understand what this meant to herself as a person. Ruby was meant to be her pillar of support through this, but instead she had run for the hills, leaving Charlie alone with her fears and confusions. All caused by loving her_. No wonder she didn't want to be around me_! Joey realised that she represented everything that Charlie wanted but also everything that she was loosing. She couldn't believe how selfish she had been. For her this was simple, she had no attachments, no real family. But in this cruel and unforgiving world Charlie risked loosing so much because people didn't understand. Joey felt stupid for thinking that Charlie could overcome all her insecurities in one day. Rising quickly, her now dry and salty clothes scrapping her skin, she made her way back to Charlie, quietly praying to anyone that would listen that she wasn't too late.


	9. Chapter 9

Joey's mind raced at 100 miles an hour as she tried to think of what she could say to help Charlie cope with Ruby's rejection. But she just kept coming up with dead ends. Figuring that words weren't her thing she made a quick detour to grab some cookies n cream ice cream and the mushiest movies she could find. Fifteen minutes later Joey stood catching her breath outside Charlie's house for the second time that day, steeling herself for what she might find. The house was in darkness, the golden afternoon sun having dipped behind the trees. It was eerily quiet, and for a moment Joey thought perhaps Charlie had gone after Ruby. A movement in the shadows of the lounge room caught her eye. Joey froze, waves of panic started to wash over her, what if it was Robbo? She scratched madly at the wall, groping for the lightswitch, feeling relief when she finally found it. As the warm light washed over the loungeroom, Joey let go of the breath she hadn't realised she was holding. Instead of exposing a monster of the night, Joey discovered the light had fallen upon the silent, still figure of Charlie, sitting on the couch. Slowly Joey made her way over to Charlie, still unsure whether her presence was wanted. She joined Charlie on the couch, sitting silently beside her, their legs gently touching. The small touch set Joey's skin ablaze. Charlie continued to stare off into the distance, her eyes seeing something that Joey could not. Gingerly Joey reached out a quivering hand to place an errant lock of hair behind Charlie's ear. There was no response from Charlie; it was as if she wasn't even there. Joey grew braver, as the need to comfort Charlie began to break down her control. She reached forward to take Charlie's hands in her own. She cradled then gently, marvelling at how soft and smooth they were. Gently she rubbed her thumbs in slow circles across Charlies golden skin. Joining Charlie in her silent musings, Joey let her forehead rest against the side of Charlie's head, her eyes looking downwards, watching the circles her thumbs wove.

"Charlie I ran from you before because I thought you were pushing me away again, and I was so scared of loosing you again, and I didn't think I could handle the pain. But as I sat down on the pier I realised how stupid, how selfish I had been. In choosing to love me you put what you wanted above the feelings of others. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been, how terrifying. But it isn't as simple as just being with me. I know you are still confused as to what being with me really means for who you are. You haven't had the chance to figure out if this means if you are gay or bisexual or none of those or what any of that means. This must be so hard for you and I know you were depending on Ruby to be there to support you, and now you feel like you have lost her just for loving me. I realised that you needed to be away from me because I represent everything that you want but also everything that you risk loosing by being with me. I came back because I needed to apologise for causing you more pain, and to let you know I understand if you need some space. Just tell me to go and I'll leave." Joey hoped it was enough to stop her from loosing Charlie.

"Don't leave me Joey, I couldn't bear to loose you too." Charlie's words came out as a hoarse whisper, and they were filled with such pleading and sorrow it brought tears to Joey's eyes. As Joey felt Charlie begin to crumple she enveloped her in a tight embrace, whispering in her ear over and over "I'll never leave you. I love you." She kissed Charlie's hair, tasting the saltiness of the sea. "Do you think she still loves me?" Charlie croaked. "Of course she does Charlie, she's just feeling confused, angry and hurt. Just give her time. I know it's hard but you can't beat yourself up over this. You won't achieve anything. When Ruby is ready to listen she'll come back." Joey knew her words didn't hold all the answers Charlie needed but she just hoped they would give her some strength, some hope. Joey just prayed that Ruby would come back soon


	10. Chapter 10

Charlie let the hot water rush over her, scalding her slightly, but she welcomed the pain. It made her feel alive again. After Ruby had left and Joey had run from her Charlie had just shut down. If Joey hadn't come back she'd still be sitting on the couch, staring into space, thoughtless and empty of emotions. But Joey had returned, bringing her back, slowly coaxing her to let go of the pain Ruby had inflicted, promising her that her sister would return. Charlie believed Joey, she was her voice of reason. She had let Joey silently lead her to the bathroom, being unable to do anything herself. She had watched from afar as Joey lovingly ran her a bath, her fingers lightly dancing through the water as she checked the temperature. She hadn't resisted as Joey had begun to slowly and gently peel away her stiff and salty clothes, until she was standing only in her underwear. Joey, a crimson blush creeping across her cheeks, had left at that moment, giving Charlie only one command, relax. Now as Charlie felt life returning to her body she felt her mind begin to whir as all of the events of the day began to slowly sink in.

This day had started off as being one of the most wonderful days of her life. She couldn't believe that only this morning she had felt true happiness for the first time in her life. Everything finally felt right. Life had seemed so wonderful, even with her insecurities still lurking in the shadows. Then it had all gone so horribly wrong. Ruby had left. Joey had left, and she was all alone. But Joey came back. Her beautiful, caring, funny, smart, strong Joey had rescued her yet again. Charlie couldn't understand how she could possibly deserve Joey.

Charlie closed her eyes, remembering the sweet taste of Joey's lips, the feeling of her slender body lying on top of her down at the pier, the cheeky grin on her face as she had pulled them both into the water, the love and tenderness that had been swimming in her deep brown eyes as she had slowly undressed Charlie. For the countless time that day Charlie felt love wash over her, fighting away all her demons, washing away the pain that Ruby had caused. Charlie knew she still had a lot to work out about herself and she had a fight ahead of her to win back Ruby, but in that moment she found the strength to fight because even after all the pain she had suffered today, loving Joey still felt right. The struggle ahead was worth it; Joey was worth it. Joey. Charlie let happiness return to her heart, and she felt her body relax as she drifted into day dreams of her and Joey running away up the coast.

Feeling like a whole new person Charlie emerged from the bathroom to discover the lounge room covered in tiny, flickering candles. The sight took her breath away, all she could do was open and close her mouth in disbelief. Joey emerged from the kitchen holding a tub of ice cream and two spoons, which she placed by the sofa before returning to stand infront of Charlie. "I thought perhaps you could use a little something to distract you from Ruby. VJ is staying at a friends place and Leah won't be back til really late from the hospital so it's just us. Plus I just wanted to remind you how special you are to me, so I thought I'd make you a beautiful dinner... icecream, then treat you to a cinematic masterpiece... notting hill, its my favourite. But if you wouldn't mind, please put on some clothes, as towels are not accepted here at Joey's Fine Dining." Joey finished off her sentence by slapping Charlie on the arse and giving her a big push towards the bedroom.

Charlie fell back onto her bed, the biggest smile possible on her face. She couldn't believe how sweet and caring and hilarious Joey was. She lay there for a couple of moments remembering how beautiful Joey had looked in the candle light, with that cheeky grin on her face, wearing some of her pyjamas. Not wanting to be away from her any longer Charlie scrambled into her pyjamas and back into the loungeroom, diving into the couch next to Joey and grabbing the ice cream before Joey could. "Mmmm cookies and cream, my favourite" Charlie managed to get out as she tucked into a big spoonful of ice cream. Feeling in a playful mood, she held tightly onto the ice cream, not letting Joey anywhere near it. Joey sat back in defeat, giving Charlie her best puppy dog face. "I'll trade you the ice cream for a kiss" offered Charlie as she leaned forward over Joey, slowly brushing their lips together. Joey quickly grabbed the ice cream, rewarding Charlie with the tiniest peck on the cheek and a massive grin. "You don't play fair!" exclaimed Charlie before beginning a tickle attack. Before long the two of them lay entwined in a fit of giggles on the sofa. Charlie felt giddy from joy and she was amazed yet again by how amazing being with Joey made her feel. "Okay you win Charlie, you can be in charge of the ice cream!" Joey rose from the sofa to put the dvd in, and Charlie instantly missed the warmth of her embrace. She was completely addicted to Joey. When Joey sat back down again, Charlie wrapped her arm around her, pulling her close. Joey snuggled into Charlie's embrace and rested her head against her shoulder. "Mmmm I could get used to watching dvds with you Charlie." Charlie smiled, feeling at peace once more.


	11. Chapter 11

"Thank you" whispered Charlie as she gently kissed the top of Joey's head. "For the movie, the ice cream, this room, being here, I feel happy again." Joey twisted around in Charlie's embrace and captured her lips with a tender kiss. "Anything for you Charlie. Except next time I'll get two tubs of ice cream because you are a greedy little miss and are really bad at sharing!" Charlie loved Joey's cheeky side, it made her laugh right down to her toes. Realising she had Joey in the perfect spot Charlie began to tickle her all over. Joey's laughter was the sweetest sound she had ever heard, and Charlie didn't want it to stop, so she kept tickling until Joey's squirming caused them both to fall off the couch. "Okay, okay you win!! You are not a greedy guts!! I surrender!!!" Joey pleaded between fits of laughter as she squirmed to be free from beneath Charlie. Charlie couldn't resist giving Joey one more quick tickle before rolling off her to lay beside her on the cool carpet, their chests heaving.

As she struggled to regain her breath Charlie watched the candlelight dance across the ceiling. She watched the shadows silently, mesmorized as the delicate patterns weaved amongst each other. It reminded her of how the moonlight had shimmered across the waves last night. Last night. Charlie couldn't believe it had barely been 24 hours since she had finally told Joey she loved her. It seemed like an eternity ago that they had shared their first, sweet kiss of the night. It had been so full of love and hope, so tender and delicate, Charlie knew she would never forget that kiss, nor the way it had made her feel. Free. Happy. Loved. If only she could feel like that all the time, but whenever she had to share Joey with the rest of the world she felt so nervous and insecure. She just wished they could be alone, up the coast on a deserted beach. Charlie felt a goofy grin spread across her face as she drifted off into a sun drenched day dream.

Charlie suddenly felt eyes upon her, breaking the trance the shadows had cast. Turning her head slowly she was met by dark contemplative eyes filled with love,and such desire it sent chills down her spin. "You are so beautiful Charlie" Charlie felt herself blushing, her cheeks on fire. She felt her body begin to melt under the strength of Joey's gaze and her simple, heartfelt admission. It took all her strength to rip her eyes from Joey's, knowing that if she hadn't she would have surely drowned. "Thank you" was all she was able to say, all her strength having left her. She felt herself come ablaze with desire, but at that same instant a blind panic overtook her. She wanted Joey completely in that moment and was so scared of what that meant, what would happen. She felt herself stiffen with fear and with a stab of guilt she knew Joey would of too. Always so sensitive to not push Charlie to far too soon, Joey slowly rose from the floor before things got out of hand. Charlie missed her warmth beside her and felt her thoughtfulness make her love her even more. When would she stop being so scared?!

Charlie accepted her outstretched hand, and rose to her feet in front of Joey. She started to open her mouth to explain, but Joey got in first. "We better clean up before Leah gets back, it might be a bit awkward otherwise" Joey tried a little grin to help move on from Charlie's panic but the mention of Leah just brought it all back again. What was she going to think? Charlie tried to look anywhere but at Joey, not wanting to hurt her with her insecurities. She felt Joey rub her arm reassuringly, the warmth of her touch calming Charlie. Gently Joey lifted Charlie's chin, urging her to meet her eyes. _I don't deserve her_ thought Charlie as she met Joeys eyes, which were filled with such compassion."It will be okay Charlie. I know you are scared. But Leah is such a kind and supporting person and a good friend. She will be okay with this. And telling her will make you feel so much better, it'll help you to come to terms with what's happening to you, between us. Don't feel you have to hide your fear from me Charlie. This isn't going to be easy for you, I understand. It's a big change and you haven't even had a chance to figure out whether this means you are gay or bi or whatever. I just don't want you to shut me out. I love you Charlie, all of you."

Charlie was speechless. Joey just continued to surprise her with the strength of her feelings. No one had ever supported her, understood her, like that before. She may be scared, she may be confused but she definitely wasn't pretending; she loved Joey. Charlie cupped Joey's face in her hands, and hoped she could convey all she was feeling in a few simple words and a tender, heartfelt kiss. "Thank you. I love you too Joey, more and more every moment." Charlie broke away from the kiss regretfully, and placed a lingering kiss on Joey's forehead before turning to pick up the empty ice cream container. "Action stations!" declared Joey, giving Charlie a quick pat on the bum, which drew a startled giggle from Charlie. "Eye, eye captain!" saluted Charlie before returning the slap on the bum, enticing a giggle from Joey. They worked in companionable silence as they blew out the candles and tidied the lounge, stealing kisses as they ran into each other crossing the room. Charlie enjoyed just being with Joey like this, it felt so right, so normal. If only everyone else could see that. But her dark thoughts were quickly chased away as Joey stole another quick kiss on her way to the kitchen. "Cup of tea Charlie?" Joey called out from the kitchen. "Yes please!" replied Charlie, following Joey into the kitchen.

They were sitting cupping their hot tea, chatting about a rerun of Blackbooks that Joey had seen recently, when Leah returned home. Charlie instantly felt awkward, a sweat breaking out on her brow. She noticed Joey react to her awkwardness, giving her a big supportive smile. "Hey girls, its good to see you both! Hows things?" asked Leah. Charlie felt the words catch in her mouth. In the end all she could manage was a quick "Yeah good, great actually!" She noticed Joey blush a little, a little grin threatening to break across her face. This warmed Charlie's heart, her innocence and the way she wore her heart on her sleeve made Joey look so adorable. It gave Charlie the strength to start. "Actually Leah there is something I need to talk to you about. Ruby has gone to stay with Dad and I need to explain why. It's about Joe.." But Leah cut her off, exclaiming that she was exhausted after a day at the hospital caring for Roman, and that if it wasn't life threatening would Charlie mind waiting til the morning. Feeling guilty that she had forgotten to even ask about Roman, and welcoming the excuse for more time, Charlie replied in the affirmative, wishing Leah a good night as the left the kitchen. Returning to face Joey she was met by raised, questioning eyebrows. "I'll tell her tomorrow, I promise." Wanting to make sure Joey believed her she lent in to steal a quick kiss before rising and walking over to the sink.

As she stood there washing out her mug she felt Joey coming to stand behind her, wrapping her arms around Charlies waist. The warmth and prescene of Joeys body pressed lightly against her back sent shockwaves through Charlies body. Closing her eyes as Joey placed an exquisite kiss on her bare shoulder, Charlie thought she would explode from all the sensations Joey was bringing to life in her. Charlie turned slowly in the embrace, unable to contain the heartfelt smile that was spreading across her face. Right in this moment everything was perfect, she was so happy. She was met by a cheeky grin from Joey, but she couldn't hide the desire in her eyes, the depth of which gave Charlie butterflies in her stomach and made her feel giddy. "So am I sleeping with you tonight?" asked Joey playfully, pulling away to hold Charlie by her hands, swinging their arms like kids. Charlie didn't want to ruin the moment, and as much as she wanted to fall asleep in Joey's arms she just didn't think it was right when they hadn't told leah yet. "Joey, I just think that since we haven't told Leah it'd..." Charlie was interrupted by Joey, who thankfully was still smiling cheekily. "It'd be best if we sleept apart, its okay Charlie, I was thinking that too, I was just hoping I could persuade you with my puppy dog eyes." Charlie couldn't help but laugh as Joey put on the cutest face. She almost found herself giving in, but Joey saved her just in time. "It just feels awful, knowing that I can't hold you yet. If I was a guy this wouldn't be a problem" Charlie could feel the frustration coursing though Joey. "Yeah I know, but your not, and this is Leah's house, we can't just dump this on her without any warning. But tomorrow night...." Charlie hoped the promise in her words would help cheer Joey, and thankfully it welcomed the return of Joey's grin and her resumption of playfully swinging their arms again. "Yeah I know you're right. It's just that when we are alone everything is ...great... but then when ever anyone else is around..." Charlie could feel her reply coming before she could stop it, interrupting Joey "I knoooow. I know but its not always going to be like this okay?!" Charlie squeezed Joeys hands for emphasis, smiling at how this made Joey's grin wider. Charlie felt Joey's cheekiness begin to intoxicate her senses. A cheeky grin of her own spreading across her face Charlie pulled Joey in close, wrapping her arms around her waist before playfully declaring "You know I could sneak in and visit you, and then if Leah saw me I could just say you had a nightmare and I had to check on you!" Intoxicated with happiness Charlie couldn't resist anymore, leaning in to capture Joey's sweet lips. The kiss was playful, tender and passionate all at once, each of them lost in the moment, forgetting where they were. Giggling into the kiss, unable to contain all the happiness inside her, Charlie explored Joey's mouth, revelling in her sweet taste. She felt Joeys smile through the kiss, its warmth and the happiness it contained flowing into Charlie.

A lack of air finally made Charlie pull away from Joeys mouth, and she gently rested her head against Joey's. Just like their first kiss in the car, happiness overtook them and the giggles returned. They stood there, their foreheads touching, their arms wrapped around each others waist, letting their happiness spill from them. As Charlie felt herself return to earth she suddenly became aware of their surroundings. Not wanting a repeat of the Ruby incident, she gave Joey a quick kiss before detaching herself from Joey's embrace. Instantly she missed Joey's warmth and it took all her strength not to jump straight back in, especially when Joey started her puppy dog eyes again. "Stop it! You're not playing fair!! I think its bed time. Separate bed time! So don't get any ideas!" Charlie laughed as she dragged Joey from the kitchen, her puppy dog eyes still firmly in place. Charlie dragged Joey to her bedroom, and before Joey knew what was happening Charlie had gathered her in her arms for a searing, passionate kiss. Knowing that she risked never leaving Charlie stopped the kiss and stared deep into Joeys declaring with all the love in her heart "I love you" before using all the will power she had to break the embrace and head for the door. Just as she was reaching the door, Joey grabbed Charlies arm and pulled her in for her own passionate kiss, before pulling away and capturing Charlies face in her hands. "I love you too" breathed Joey, desire and love clouding her eyes, her cheeks flushed. Charlie felt her resolve crumpling as she slowly drowned in Joey's beauty and the passion of their kisses caught up with her. Just as she was about to give in to her desires she felt Joey's firm hands on her waist, pushing her gently out the door. "Sweet Dreams Charlie" whispered Joey as she slowly closed the door, a golden smile dancing across her flushed face. "Sweet Dreams Joey" whispered Charlie, as she burnt the image of Joey into her mind before the door closed, leaving her alone in the hallway, her cheeks flushed, desire and love and happiness coursing through her veins. Charlie stood there in the hallway until she could feel sensation return to her legs. Slowly she made her way to Ruby's bed, wishing with every step she walked away from Joey she could just turn right around and hold her in her arms again. For the first time in weeks Charlie lay in bed with a smile on her face, no tears or pain to keep her awake. She let the happiness and love she felt for Joey wash over her, gently rocking her to sleep. As always her last thought was of Joey, but for the first time it was happy.


	12. Chapter 12

The first rays of sunlight gently washed over Charlie, gradually pulling her from her deep, restful sleep. Slowly her eyes flickered open, taking their time to come to focus on her surrounds. She was in Ruby's room... why?... Joey! Charlie stretched languidly in the bed, welcoming the return of happiness and peace to heart as she remembered why she had slept so well for the first time in weeks. Charlie felt the smile spread across her face, and she couldn't help but pinch herself. Sadly Charlie was rudely shaken from her musings by the irritating and shrill ring of her alarm. Switching it off, Charlie flopped back down on her back to return to her musings, thankful she always set her alarm half an hour early. Her smile quickly returned as images of Joey flooded her mind. Her cheeky grin, her cute laugh, the way she tasted so sweet like springtime flowers. Suddenly Charlie couldn't bear to be apart from her anymore and she quickly and stealthily snuck across the hall, avoiding all the creaky spots, laughing silently to herself at her teenage behaviour. She took a moment to admire Joey in secret, taking in how her brown hair sprayed across her pillow, her face barely visible from beneath her doona cocoon. Charlie noticed with a smile that Joey was right in the middle of the bed, not surprised at all that Joey was a space hogger. Feeling an overwhelming urge to be close to Joey, Charlie gently slipped into the bed behind her. She nuzzled into her warm soft back, draping her arm over her waist and rested her forehead at the base of Joey's neck, placing a lingering kiss on her bare shoulder. She felt Joey stir and snuggle further into her embrace. "I could hear you screaming across the hall, so I thought I better check on you" whispered Charlie, cheekily recalling her idea from last night. "Mmmmhm it was a bad nightmare mmmmmhm" was all Joey was able to mumble out before she dozed off again. Charlie lay there, listening to Joey breathe, relishing this moment. Wrapped up with her beneath the doona Charlie felt so happy and safe, the opinions of everyone else blocked out. Even Ruby couldn't harm them here.

Charlie wished she could stay there forever, but before she knew it her alarm was screaming again. "Noooooo, don't go to work Charlie, stay in bed with mmmmmmmeeeeeee' pleaded Joey groggily, as she turned and latched onto Charlie's retreating body. "I wish more than anything I could sweetie!" whispered Charlie as she eventually escaped from Joey's monster grip, every word ringing with such truth and longing it even shocked Charlie. She was still being surprised with just how strong her love for Joey was. With how right it was. If only she could tell the world that, if only she wasn't so gutless. Not wanting to ruin the moment, as her insecurities began to rise in her once more like the new day sun, Charlie lent down and planted a heartfelt kiss on Joey's forehead but a cheeky "Hmmph" was all she got in return. She stood there just gazing at Joey feigning sleep, laughing quietly to herself at just how cute she was. _Oh how I love her!_

Charlie's revere was cut short when she heard the shower begin to run, sending waves of panic down her spine; Leah. She still had to tell Leah. Charlie felt herself break out in a cold sweat. What was she going to say to her? How was Leah going to react? Having heard Leah too and realised what that meant for Charlie, Joey was instantly awake, and as she had done so many times before, saved Charlie from the demons raging inside her. "Charlie it's going to be okay. You can do this. We can do this. Let me help you. Leah will understand, you'll see" Charlie felt Joey rise from the bed to come hold her tightly from behind, wrapping her arms protectively around Charlie as she placed gentle, reassuring kisses on her bare shoulder. With each kiss Charlie felt the panic ebb, until it had finally dissipated enough for her to find conviction in her feelings. She loved Joey. Joey loved her. No matter what anyone said this was right, it was beautiful and it was worth fighting for. She could do this because she had Joey, and she knew she would be there to support her, which was something she'd never had before. Charlie turned in Joey's embrace and placed an emotional kiss upon her lips, hoping to convey all that Joey's support and understanding meant to her. Joey pulled away first to gather Charlie in for another strong, reassuring hug. "Thank you. I don't think I'd be able to get through all this without you Joey. You are so understanding and supportive of me. You are so patient. I just wish I was as strong as you." Charlie finished her statement with another delicate kiss before reluctantly pulling herself from Joey's embrace; she needed to leave the room before Leah came out of the shower. "I'll come out in 10 minutes, we can tell her over breakfast" whispered Joey as Charlie snuck out of the room.

Charlie was sitting at the table, pushing her cereal around her bowl aimlessly, her appetite completely absent, when she felt Joey enter the room and place a tender kiss on her head before moving to the bench. The simple gesture had Charlie glowing with love, which gave her the strength to open her mouth when Leah entered shortly after Joey. "Morning Leah! I hope you slept okay! Um look I know it's early but I really need to talk to you about why Ruby left..." Charlie felt Joey take the seat next to her, the mere presence of her filling her with strength. "Sure thing Charlie, its obviously important" replied Leah as she sat on the other side of Charlie, deep concern in her eyes. "Its ahh well you see..." Struggling for the right words Charlie instinctively reached for Joey's hand, grasping it tightly. She stole a quick glance at Joey and was met with such resounding love and support she felt the words she needed start to rush forth. "The truth is that I Joey and I are in love. I know this is a shock; it was for me too. I've been in love with her for a while now but I was only able to accept my feelings for her two nights ago. Ruby ran away to the city yesterday because she couldn't accept that I loved Joey. I know this is asking a lot Leah, but we could really do with your support right now..." Charlie grasped Joey's hand so tightly her knuckles turned white. She waited for Leah's response with baited breath, her heart beating madly in her chest with panic. What was Leah thinking? Does she think its okay that I'm gay? Am I even gay; the only woman I've ever fancied is Joey?! What does it mean to say someone is gay? Hundreds of thoughts rushed in and out of Charlie's head in the minute it took for Leah to respond.

"Wow. To be honest I am a little bit shocked. As far as I'm concerned love is love, and with all the crap that's been going on lately it's nice to get some good news. I'll support you both and if there is anything I can do to help with Ruby, let me know. Wow. Sorry this is still such a shock, a good one though! I can see by just the way you two look at each that you obviously love each other. But Charlie, I just never realised you were gay or bi or... what does this mean for you?" Leah grasped Charlie's free hand, and looked her with such support, kindness and genuine happiness it filled her with such relief. Since Leah was happy for them, perhaps she could face everyone else?! But what would she say to them about the gay thing? The truth? "I'm not sure what I am Leah. I've never been attracted to women before like I am to Joey. Sure I've looked twice at beautiful women on the street, but I've never had these butterflies in my stomach before. And I'm attracted to men. I've been with my share of them too, and whilst none of them have ever made me feel crazy like Joey does it's never felt wrong either. I still haven't had time to figure this out just yet, which is why I don't want everyone knowing about us just yet." Charlie felt Joey's hand stiffen in her own. She felt a stab of guilt for the pain that hiding their relationship would cause her. Charlie didn't want her to think she was embarrassed about being with her. She wasn't, but she just didn't think she had the strength to face up to everyone yet. Not when she was still so unsure about herself. She prayed Joey would understand. "Thanks for your honesty Charlie. I know this is going to be tough, especially in a small town, but I'm sure everyone will be as happy for you as I am. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Your secret is safe with me. Oh just quickly, if you don't mind could you maybe hold off things in front of VJ, things are just so crazy for him right now?" Asked Leah as she rose from table, and made moves to leave for the day. Before she could answer, Joey cut in "Of course Leah, we are both on board!" removing her hand from Charlie's at the same time, hurt hiding behind her warm smile. "Great well I'll see you two later then!" Charlie quickly rose to embrace Leah in a big bear hug. "Thank you Leah, this means so much to me, to us." Charlie finally let Leah go, unable to contain the smile that spread across her face, expressing the relief that she felt. "Its good to see you happy Charlie! Now I don't want to ruin the moment but I thought I'd remind you that you're going to be late to work at this rate! See Ya!" With that she was gone, leaving them alone again.

Charlie's smile faded the moment she turned to Joey, her pain no longer hiden behind a smile. Charlie rushed to envelop Joey in a tight hug. "Joey, I'm sorry, so sorry. I am not embarrassed to be with you. I'm just a coward. I wish I was as strong as you, but I'm not. I want the world to know how much I love you but I'm still so scared of what they are going to think of me, how they are going to treat me, us. I just need some time. I'm sorry I sprung that on you. I love you, I truly do." Charlie looked deeply into Joey's eyes as she apologised, wanting Joey to see the truth in them, see the love in her eyes. She felt great relief as Joey's pain ebbed, and her smile returned. "I understand Charlie. It's just going to be so hard! You make me so happy! I just want to shout it out to the whole world! I want everyone to know that I love you!!" Charlie felt fireworks erupt in heart, as they did every time Joey told her she loved her. Her simple admission made her heart jump in leaps and bounds, the intensity of Joey's feelings warming her to her soul and burnt forth from her through a radiant smile that she couldn't contain. Joey's face was adorned with a matching smile, and Charlie just couldn't resist kissing her anymore. They lost themselves in the kiss, their smiles never leaving their faces. "Mmmph Charlie mmmm late mmm for work" murmured Joey into the kiss, which caused Charlie to giggle and pull away from Joey. "Alright already!!! So keen to get rid of me hey?! So you can just go straight back to bed?! Fine! I'll just have a quick shower and I'll be gone! I bet you wont even miss me!" Charlie couldn't resist tickling Joey before she ran away to the safety of the bathroom, her heart so full of joy and happiness and a smile plastered across her face that she knew would be with her all day.


	13. Chapter 13

Joey spent the entire morning aimlessly wandering around the bay, hoping she'd run into Charlie. She had managed to fight the urge to message her, wanting to give Charlie a little bit of space. But it had been so hard and frustrating because all Joey wanted to do was tell Charlie she missed her, that she loved her, and that being apart from her was hell on earth. Joey laughed inwardly at how crazy and obsessed she sounded, but she couldn't help the fact that with every breath she took she thought of Charlie. The happiness that knowing Charlie loved her made Joey light headed and giddy like a school girl, and left her with a permanent grin. Her stomach grumbling, Joey made her way to the diner, hoping to catch Charlie on her lunch break.

"What are you smiling about dear? Met a nice boy?" Joey struggled to hold her laughter as Colleen came over to serve her; _if only she knew!_ Joey could imagine it now... 'No Colleen I've fallen in love with the most stunning, beautiful, amazing woman and all I want to do is kiss her until I run out of air in my lungs, then I want to take her home and ravage her' ... the poor thing would probably self combust, mused Joey. She ordered her lunch and chose a table with the best view of both the doors. She tried to read a magazine but just found herself reading the same sentence over and over again as she struggled to concentrate on anything other than watching the doors like the stalker she was. Her food came and went; she could barely remember what she had, but still no Charlie. Joey was about to explode with frustration, cursing the fact that of all days today was the day that Charlie had to be run off her feet, when her phone beeped, causing her to jump. Joey just stared at the message, her mouth opening wide into the biggest grin she could manage, and her heart just melted. _I miss you x. _She couldn't believe it; Charlie had messaged her! To know that she was thinking of her too made Joey miss her even more and she quickly replied; _I miss you too xox._ Her energy renewed from those few words Joey found herself rising from the fix she had been in all morning and she became resolved to do something with herself for the rest of the day, instead of moping around like a love sick puppy.

Joey wandered down to the pier, breathing in the salty ocean smell deeply. Home. Joey had always felt at home by the water, or on a boat, fishing. She suddenly realised how much she missed working with Aden on the boat. For a long time after Robbo had raped her she had been so scared to come down here, then everything with Charlie had kept her distracted. But now as she walked past the piles of cray pots and endless nets she felt her passion for the sea returning, its beauty and mysteries calling to her. Spotting one of the captains heading into the shed, Joey ran after him, determined to get herself a job.

Feeling like her life was finally coming together Joey skipped down the pier to Aden's boat, desperate to tell someone her great news. Aden looked up from his work and burst out laughing at the sight of Joey. "Hey Jo, you look like a kid at Christmas!! What's got you all glowing? Has this got anything to do with a certain crime fighting hotty whose mouth you had your tongue crammed down yesterday?!" Joey ran up to Aden, squealing with laughter and grabbed him in a big hug. "Hey Jo lighten up on the grip there, I need to breathe!" Joey let go of Aden, realising as she did how much she'd missed him; he was such a good friend. "Aden I've got so much to tell you!!!! About Charlie and my new job and..." Aden interrupted her squaeling rant "Woah kid, slow down! Don't forget to breathe! Just give me a minute to clean up here and we can go for a walk along the beach."

Joey hadn't stopped talking the entire time they had been walking and her voice was starting to get raspy. It had felt so good to be able to tell someone the whole story and to get off her chest how hard everything Charlie had put herself and Joey through had been. To finally tell someone how amazing Charlie makes her feel, and how at peace and complete she feels now. She also needed to voice her own fears about what this all means for Charlie. "I'm just a little scared that Charlie isn't going to deal with being with me in public. I know this must be hard for her, but I don't want her to be ashamed. For me it's simple, I love her and want to be with her and no one can make me feel ashamed, but she is so concerned about what other people will think of her. Especially when she isn't even sure of herself yet. I'm gay, but Charlie!? I don't know and neither does she. I don't want to loose her because people are close minded and prejudiced. What if she finds it all to hard and not worth it?! Aden if I lost her to them I just don't know what I'd do with myself. I know she loves me, but I'm worried that's not enough." Joey let the words fly from her, releasing a burden from her heart that had been quietly eating away at her. She hadn't realised just how scared she really was, but now that she had voiced her fears she couldn't stop the tears from coming. Aden pulled her in for a tight hug, and held her until the tears ran dry. "It'll be okay Joey. If she loves you as much as you love her then I can't see her wanting to let you go. As long as she has you there to support her and help you through this I'm sure she will learn to deal with it and be proud to be with you. Just give it time, don't pressure her and just remind her that you love her. It'll be okay Joey." Joey felt Adens reassuring words wash over her, fighting away her demons. She pulled away from the hug and gave Aden a big smile to let him know she was okay, before continuing to walk with him down the beach, her smile returning. "Thanks Aden. You are such a good friend. Ooooh so anyway I have MORE news! I got a job today working on another trawler! I'm so excited! I've missed the sea so much and I finally feel like I'm ready to go back after everything that happened. The only downside is I have to do a two day trip to start off in a couple of days and I just don't want to leave Charlie so soon, I'll miss her way too much!" Aden gave her a big pat on the back before he playfully pushed her away. "Congrats Joey that's great! But you are such a lovey dovey mushy dweeb!! You gotta harden up!" Joey laughed so hard her stomach hurt, and Aden didn't fair much better. Joey had missed him, and was glad to have him around again. They slowly walked back to the boat, chatting about anything and nothing and by the time they were back Joey realised that Charlie would just be finishing work. Suddenly she needed to be back at Leah's, she needed to hold Charlie, she needed to kiss her desperately. Giving Aden a quick hug good bye she ran back up the pier, leaving Aden behind with a knowing and bemused look on his face.


	14. Chapter 14

Charlie sat at her desk, strumming her fingers impatiently as she stared at the clock, watching it inch agonisingly slowly towards 4:30pm. Finally the hand beat its war against gravity and Charlie was up like a shot and out of the office. She was desperate. She needed to see Joey. She couldn't bear it any longer. From the moment she had kissed her good bye this morning Charlie had felt a dull ache in her heart, which only intensified as the day wore on. All day she had ached for Joey, she longed to see her smile, kiss her lips, holds in her arms and feel her warmth. Every minute of the day she had pined after Joey like a love struck teenager, hoping with every call out she might catch a glimpse of her on the street. But there had been no such luck, as they had been run off their feet helping out with issues down at Yabby Creek. She even had to eat lunch on the run which had meant no trip to the diner, where she secretly hoped Joey had been waiting for her, just as much a love struck wreck as she as. Then to further rub salt in her wounds everywhere she went in the afternoon she saw couples. The longing and frustration had finally gotten the better of her; she needed Joey to know how much being apart was killing her. So she had sent her a message, simply stating that she missed her, hoping that everything she was feeling right now would travel to Joey along with the message. That had brought relief from her heartache for only a moment because Joey replied instantly with _I miss you too xo_ which had caused Charlie's heart to explode with love and longing, which caused the ache in her heart to burn white hot. But finally she was free, or so she thought. "Hey Senior Constable just before you head off I need to talk to you about Joey Collins" yelled out Constable Dave.

Charlie stopped dead in her tracks, the blood rushing from her face, and a blind panic caused her hands to shake. Did he know? How could he know? Did everyone know? Did Ruby tell people? Is he going to be disgusted to? I can't deal with this! Charlie turned slowly to face her collegue, managing to mask her emotions behind a quickly constructed mask. "Ah... sorry Constable... Joey Collins? What about her?" Charlie's heart was racing with fear and insecurities and she felt like a deer caught in the headlights. "Just wanted to let you know a date has been set for the trial, it'll be in 3 months time. I just wondered if maybe I could sit in on this one, I'm just aching to get some court experience!?" Charlie felt dizzy as the relief was over her. "Ah of course... I can't see that being an issue. See you tomorrow."

Charlie made a hasty exit but she didn't make it far from work before she had to stop and brace herself against a tree, as another round of dizzying emotions washed over her, this time it was guilt. She had just panicked. If she was truthful with herself she had just been embarrassed, ashamed of their relationship and she was pretty certain she would have denied it. Charlie felt so guilty for betraying Joey like that, for not having the strength to love her openly. Would she ever be ready? Would she ever be able to be with Joey in public? Would she ever be able to put what she wanted first before the opinions of others? Only two nights ago she thought she had freed herself enough to be able to face people, but ever since Ruby had left she just wasn't sure. The one person she thought who would support her had made her feel like loving Joey was wrong, unnatural, a lie and a silly phase, and this had just forced her back to hiding her love. Why couldn't she be as strong as Joey?! When they were together everything was amazing, it was right. But how would she feel if they walked down the street together holding hands? Would she be embarrassed?! Charlie felt another stab of guilt wrench her heart as she realised that yes she probably would be. Charlie felt the frustration begin to rise in her. Why shouldn't people be happy for them? Why should she be made to feel embarrassed or ashamed to hold the hand of the one she loved? She loved Joey, she wanted to be with Joey, its their decision not anyone elses yet why didn't it feel that way? Charlie stood there for a few moments resting her head on her arm against the rough bark of the tree. She breathed deeply, trying to calm all the swirling emotions. She found herself starting to chant Joey's mantra in her mind _"I'm here, I'm not letting you go, I love you, it will be okay"._ She wished she was in Joey's safe arms, protected from the world. She wished she could just hold her in her arms and kiss her endlessly, her heart filled only with love and happiness again. Slowly but surely Charlie began to feel the ache for Joey return to her heart, its intensity banishing all her demons for now. She needed Joey.

Charlie came rushing into the house madly, the need to kiss Joey, to tell her she loved her, to be reminded of how right being with her felt causing her to yell like a crazy person. "Joey are you here!?!?!? Joey?!" Charlie ran into the lounge room and stopped dead in her tracks when Joey came running from the bedroom. She was beautiful. She was real. She was here. Charlie felt love explode in her heart at the sight of Joey, everything else forgotten. They ran to meet each other, smilling like lunatics. Charlie wrapped her herself in Joey, burying one hand in her hair the other around her waist both acting to pull Joey as close as possible, their lips crashing together. They devoured each other madly, a day of longing finally finding release. "MMM god I'd mmmmm missed. Mmm you Charlie mmm" Charlie laughed between kisses at just how gorgeous and cute Joey was. "MMMmmmhm I missed mmm you more mmmm Joey" Charlie felt Joey suddenly pull out of the kiss, a mad grin on her face, and before Charlie knew it she was being tickled crazy. "Oh no you didn't! I totally missed you a hundred times more!! I walked around town the entire day just to catch a glimpse of you! So I win!!" Charlie could hardly breath from all the laugher, her eyes watering. Unable to get a tickle of her own in edge wise Charlie resorted to grabbing Joey in a big bear hug, locking her arms by her side and dragging her to her room. "You are going to regret this missy!! I watched the clock all day waiting till I could see you again; I practically bore a whole in it with my stares. I missed you 1000 times more!" Charlie pushed Joey back on the bed before climbing atop her and launching her own tickle attack until Joey was red in the face. Flopping back down beside Joey, Charlie continued to laugh with joy as she was overcome with happiness and love; she hadn't felt this crazy and carefree in years. "I love you Joey" she whispered as she drapped herself over half of Joey, entwining her leg with Joey's. "I love you too Charlie" whispered Joey capturing Charlies lips with her own. Charlie felt herself drown in the kiss, the world around her melting away until it was just her and Joey, making out like teenagers without a care in the world.


	15. Chapter 15

The setting sun turned the ocean a golden red, a sight that always took Joey's breath away. She stared out to the sea, marvelling in its peace and beauty. A flutter of excitement played through her heart as she realised that in a few days time she would be out there as the sun set, completely surrounded by the sea, lost in its expanse, home again. She hadn't told Charlie yet, there had been no time since they had been reunited; every minute had been spent making up for the time they'd spent apart. Joey couldn't stop the cheeky smile from creeping across her face as she recalled how crazy they had been, giggling and making out like teenagers. That was until they heard Leah come home, which caused them to break apart and fall into fits of guilty laughter. Luckily Leah hadn't heard them, and they had run from the house, using the "We will go grab the dinner" excuse, neither wanting Leah to catch them with their flushed faces and messy hair. They'd run down the street, laughing madly til it hurt and they could run no more. Out of breath they now walked silently along the beach, smiles plastered across their faces, happy. Every now and then Charlie would accidentally brush against Joey, and the touch set her arm on fire. It took all she had not to grab Charlie's hand, but she knew Charlie wasn't ready and she didn't want to pressure her, nor ruin what had been such a wonderful evening so far. She was broken from her thoughts by a cheeky push on the shoulder from Charlie. "Joey this is Houston, can you hear us!?" Charlie's face was a picture of happiness, a cheeky smile lighting up her eyes, her hair glowing in the sun. Joey just wanted to kiss her so much, but she resisted, pushing back instead, laughing. "Oh you are SOOOOOO funny Charlie! Fine I'll pay you some attention! How are you?! What's on your mind?! What can I do for you!?" Joey loved teasing Charlie, and she loved how they were so comfortable around each other. She had missed this when Charlie had run from her. "Why thank you for asking Joey. I am wonderful thank you! I was just thinking about how cute you looked when Leah came home, it was though she caught you stealing from the cookie jar!!! Oh and since you offered there is something you can do for me..." Charlie looked at Joey with such a mischievous grin before she slapped her on the ass and ran away towards the boat sheds.

Joey ran after Charlie, laughing and yelling "Come back here Charlie!! I'm going to get you!" She came charging around the corner of the boatshed, and before she could register what was happening Charlie had grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall, kissing her passionately. It took Joey a second to register what was happening before she gave into Charlie, opening her mouth to the kiss. She buried her hands in Charlie's soft hair, pulling them closer together. She felt her body come alive, desire coursing through her. She felt Charlie's hands madly running up and down her sides, across her back, through her hair, grasping at her, every touch sending Joey crazy. She ran her own hands up and down Charlie's back, pulling Charlie against her. She could feel the heat of Charlie's exquisite body through her white singlet top, and Joey was finding it harder and harder not to slide her hands beneath Charlie's top to feel her soft smooth skin, to feel the heat of her body beneath her hands, to claim every inch of her. Joey could feel the kiss starting to spiral out of control as Charlie moved to slide her leg between Joey's bringing them excruciatingly closer. With all the willpower she could muster she fought back her raging desire, and she pulled back long enough from the kiss to plea for mercy. "Charlie please stop you are killing me. We have to stop before I can't control myself anymore!" With that Charlie stilled her hands and fell against Joey, burying her face in Joey's neck. They stood there for a few moments, their chests heaving, their breath ragged, as the desire coursed through their veins taking an achingly slow time to ebb. "Sorry Jo, I don't know what came over me, you were just so beautiful in the sun, and I just wanted to kiss you but I couldn't and I guess I just cracked." Joey laughed as she gingerly pushed away from the wall, her legs shaking as she gathered Charlie in for a hug. "Yeah you went a little crazy Charlie, forcing yourself onto me and ravishing me without warning! Not that I'm complaining! If this is what happens when I don't pay you attention, prepared to be ignored all the time! Are you okay to walk yet?" Charlie laughed into the hug, before pulling away from Joey, her face awash with desire and embarrassment. Joey found her to be so adorable in that moment, and it took all she had not to kiss her all over again. "Joey Collins, you make me so crazy! You are such a bad influence on me!" Joey laughed and draped her arm around Charlie's waist and walked with her til the end of the boatsheds. Reluctantly she removed her arm as they stepped out from their hiding place. The memory of that heated kiss forced away any sadness that having to hide their relationship brought Joey, because Charlie had shown first hand that she wanted her, needed her, and for now that was enough.

They stood at the counter in the diner, looking over the menu. Joey stood in the front with Charlie leaning up against her back, staring over her shoulder. The feel of Charlie's body pressed innocently into her back was sending Joey mad. When they had first entered the diner she had felt Charlie freeze at the doorway, scared of what people might assume about them, what they might whisper. But they had come in looking everything like two good friends, a comfortable close distance between them, but no hand holding to suggest anything more. When Charlie had realised that no one was paying them any attention she had immediately relaxed which allowed Joey to release the breath she didn't notice she had been holding. They bickered about what to order, the friendly banter between them was so comfortable it made Joey feel so at peace. Colleen approached them to take their order, putting her foot in it as per usual. "Oh Hello Charlie, nice to see you dear! Oh and you to Joey, nice to see you again today! Did you know that miss Joey here has found herself a nice boy Charlie?! She was in here at lunch today and she couldn't stop smiling!" Joey felt herself blushing and managed to stop a giggle at the last minute. She felt Charlie playfully nudge her in the side, as she played along. "Is that so Colleen!? Well I want to hear all about this mystery boy later Joey! Is he cute!?" Joey looked at the floor as she struggled to stop the laughter. Relief and happiness poured through her as she realised that Charlie was still comfortable around her at the moment, that she wasn't running for the hills. "Oh I'm sorry dear, I've embarrassed you. Young love hey?! What can I get you tonight?" Joey was grateful that the subject had been changed and she quickly ordered before retreating to a table to wait, covering her face to hide her embarrassment. "What's wrong Joey, Are you embarrassed? So who is this boy, is he cute?! Does he give you butterflies? Do you want to kiss him? Tell me all the juicy goss!" Joey laughed at Charlie's teasing, enjoying the moment. She had been afraid that Charlie would completely close off around her when they entered the diner. But under the friend disguise Charlie was relaxed, playful. If Joey was honest with herself it hurt to be hiding the truth, but having Charlie around her, comfortable, was more important than shouting their love to the world; for now. "Oh Charlie, I'm in love with the cutest person in the whole of summer bay!! I want to kiss them right now. I want to rip their clothes off and devour them right here in the diner! Oh how my heart aches Charlie! I sat here all lunch pining after them, it was excruciating." Joey watched the blush rush across Charlie's cheeks as she took the joke that little bit further. Charlie was so adorable, squirming with embarrassment, Joey couldn't help but push the joke that little bit further. "They have the sexiest body I have ever seen. Especially when they were their short shorts and tight white tank top. Their sexy toned legs are to die for, and the top hugs in all the right places. The sight of them sends me wild with desire." Charlie squirmed in her seat, looking around to make sure no one had heard her. "SSSSSHHHH Joey. Stop it! You are not playing FAIR! Someone might hear you. You are going to pay for this later!!" Joey just laughed at the death stare Charlie gave her, which forced her to break out into an embarrassed giggle. Once their giggling had subsided that chatted about anything and everything until their meals arrived, the excuse to leave and be on their own again most welcome.

"I can't believe you said all that Joey. IN THE DINER! I'm going to make you pay when we get home!" Declared Charlie with a laugh as soon as they were alone again on the beach. They both had their hands full of food, and Joey was grateful because she felt a tickle attack coming on. "Bring it on baby!"

The evening had passed quickly, it was full of laughter and happiness as they had shared dinner with Leah and VJ, before watching whatever trash was on TV until yawning had heralded bedtime. They had gotten ready for bed in an awkward silence and now they stood next to the bed, neither sure of what to say or do next. Joey was so nervous, her body shaking. She wanted more than anything to curl up with Charlie under the doona and slip into a peaceful sleep. She could also feel desire lurking in the shadows. Charlie had kissed her with such passion today but did that mean she was ready to be with her? Joey wanted to show Charlie just how much she loved her, but she knew that this must have also been scaring the living daylights out of Charlie too; this was a big step for her. "So would you like to snuggle with me Charlie? I promise not to take advantage of you! Of course I can't vouch for you after today's little ravishing!!" Joey hoped a little bit of humour would help, and thankfully it did, as she noticed Charlie visibly relax. Joey slid under the covers and scooted across the bed before gently smiling at Charlie and inviting her into her arms. Charlie climbed into the bed quickly and snuggled into Joey's embrace, releasing a sigh as she did so. "It feels so good to be in your arms Joey, so safe, so right. Thank you for being so good to me. I want to be with you so much, you send me so crazy.... I've never felt this much desire for someone before, but I'm scared." Joey ran her hand gently up and down Charlie's arm and buried her face in Charlie's neck, her smell intoxicating. "I love you Charlie. Just being able to hold you like this means more to me than you'll ever know. I understand how scared you must feel.... I've never been here before either. There is no rush, we have all the time in the world." Joey gently kissed Charlie's shoulder, before she felt her eyelids begin to droop, sleep coming to claim her. "I love you too Joey. Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you." Joey felt Charlie's breath slow, in time with her own, and welcomed sleep with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart.


	16. Chapter 16

As the fog of sleep slowly dissipated Charlie became acutely aware of how Joey's small body was entwined with her own. She lay on her back and Joey lay half atop of her. Joey's leg was draped over her own; her arm was resting gently across her stomach, her hand just grazing her breast. Joey's head rested on her chest, her face nuzzled beneath her chin, her breath tickling Charlie ever so sweetly. Everywhere that she could feel Joey, Charlie's skin was humming with warmth. Her own arms were wrapped around Joey, holding her close. Charlie never wanted to move from this position. She smiled and placed a light kiss atop of Joey's head, trying to convey all the love and happiness she was feeling in this moment. At the touch the sleeping Joey wrapped herself tighter around Charlie, raising her leg higher between Charlie's and brushing her hand across her breast. Charlie felt her body come alive with the contact, desire burning through her. She found her hand moving of its own accord, slipping beneath Joey's t-shirt to run gingerly across the smooth skin of her back. The moment her hand had touched Joey, Charlie had felt like she was on fire, the need to feel every inch of her skin beneath her hands intoxicating, over powering. Joey responded in her sleep, pressing her leg into Charlie and moaning slightly in her sleep. Charlie felt like her body might explode from the pressure and her hands became more adventurous, grazing across Joey's pyjama clad bottom, and back across her back again. Desire pulsed through her and Charlie was amazed at her own arousal; a man had never made her feel this way before. She wanted to claim every inch of Joey, explore her body and learn its secrets. She wanted to discover what made Joey scream; she wanted to feel Joey's body spasm with pleasure beneath her touch. Charlie had no idea what magic had been weaved in her mind during the night, but any fear she had about being with Joey was gone, replaced by an overpowering need to hold her. Perhaps the closeness of Joey, and the peace and happiness that had filled her as she had fallen asleep in her arms, had helped convince her mind further that being with Joey was right. Perhaps this meant she was ready to really accept that she was in love with a woman, not just Joey. This was something she knew she needed to do to overcome her fear of Ruby and everyone else's opinions. To come to understand herself. Charlie continued to run her hands across Joey's back, drowning in the sensation, unaware that Joey had begun to awaken. Suddenly she felt Joey's own hand slip beneath her singlet and dance across her stomach. Charlie moaned with pleasure at the touch. "Mmmm good morning beautiful. I must say this is my new favourite way to wake up in the morning, in the arms of the most beautiful woman in the world, her hands on my bare skin mmm" Joey whispered into her ear, sending goose bumps down her spine. Charlie brought her spare hand up to Joey's head, wrapping her fingers in her hair and pulling her lips in for a searing kiss. Joey pressed her self into Charlie and moaned into the kiss. They were lost in the sensations, desire encompassing them, their hands roaming their bodies, when Charlie's phone rang, breaking the spell.

Joey collapsed atop of Charlie in frustration, and Charlie let out her own sigh, her body ripping itself apart with desire and frustration. She reached for the phone and froze when she saw the caller. Ruby. She quickly extracted herself from Joey to sit on the edge of the bed, which was met with much protest from both Joey and her own body. "Ruby?" Charlie's voice was ragged from the desire coursing through her. "Yeah Charlie it's me. Just letting you know I'm going to stay down here for the weekend. I'll be back on Monday." Ruby's voice was cold, and this ripped through Charlie. All the happiness she had felt when she awoke this morning evaporated in an instant as she realised Ruby was still angry with her. "Rubes, please can we talk?! I need to talk to you, explain what is happening. I can't loose you Ruby!" Charlie pleaded with her sister, tears beginning to pour from her eyes. "Charlie please, leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you. I just need some more time. Bye" Ruby hung up on her and Charlie just sat there in shock, tears rushing down her face. Ruby still couldn't accept her, perhaps she never would?! Why was she punishing her?! Why did loving Joey cause Ruby so much pain?! Charlie felt Joey gather her in her arms as the truth of Ruby's continuing avoidance and unacceptance of them washed over her, punishing her body with uncontrollable sobs and hot stinging tears.

Charlie sat at the kitchen table, pushing her toast around her plate. She had cried until she couldn't anymore. Joey had held her silently, placing tender kisses on her head every now and then. Finally all emotion had left Charlie, leaving her blank and empty. Joey had pulled her from bed at that point and led her to the bathroom, leaving her with firm instructions to shower and join her in the kitchen for breakfast. Unable to think or do anything else Charlie had stood in the shower, letting the hot water scald her skin, hoping the pain would bring her back to life. It hadn't, so now she sat at the table, an empty shell. Leah entered the kitchen smiling, until she saw Charlie, her face becoming a picture of concern. Charlie barely registered Leah come to sit next to her; she could barely feel her holding her hands. "Charlie, what happened?" Charlie struggled to speak, all her energy gone. "Ruby...staying away... hates me." Charlie felt a new round of tears start sliding down her cheeks. "Oh Charlie, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to call her? I'm sure she just needs some more time. It'll be okay Charlie. I promise." The truth and compassion in Leah's words brought a little bit of life back into Charlie. She may not have Ruby yet, but she was lucky to have such a good friend as Leah. "Thanks Leah, but I think she just wants to be left alone. All I can do is hope she comes to accept me, us. I don't want to think about what will happen if she doesn't." Charlie felt some emotions begin to return with the warmth of Leah's touch, frustration and anger beginning to overtake her again. Charlie rose from the table, the need to be alone with her thoughts and emotions finally giving her some strength. "I think I need to go for a run. Do some thinking. Be alone." Charlie rushed from the kitchen, not looking at Joey. She was almost out the door when Joey grabbed her arm, spinning her around. Charlie's heart broke with the fear and concern she saw in Joey's eyes. But she had nothing in her at the moment that could help Joey. Knowing that leaving Joey behind would cause her pain, but unable to do anything else, Charlie ripped herself from Joey's grasp, whispering that she was sorry before she ran from the house.


	17. Chapter 17

**Things get a little heated at the end.... just a warning :P**

Joey walked slowly across the sand towards where Charlie was sitting. She was staring aimlessly out to the ocean, tears streaming down her face, with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, making her seem so small and fragile. Joey's heart broke to see Charlie so shattered again. Why was Ruby being so cruel and selfish, abandoning Charlie when she needed her the most? Joey approached Charlie hesitantly, not sure if she was ready to see her yet. When Charlie didn't move, Joey sat down beside her, gathering her legs in close to her chest, staring out into the great expanse of the ocean, trying to see what Charlie did. They sat in silence, Charlie continuing to cry and Joey's heart continuing to break. All she wanted to do was gather Charlie in her arms, and tell her everything was going to be all right. But was it? What if Ruby didn't accept Charlie, them? Joey knew the pain would rip Charlie in two and shatter her heart, and she was scared that she wouldn't be able to save her from the self-destruction that would follow.

When Charlie had run this morning Joey hadn't felt the hurt and anger she expected, instead she had felt a great sense of despair and helplessness. She had cried for Charlie, for the pain she had to continuously endure because she loved her. She had collapsed on her bed and cried because there was nothing she could do to fix the pain. She had cried for all the injustice and prejudice in the world, which shamed their love and caused them such pain. She cried for Charlie who was still so lost and unsure of herself, and now she was loosing the one person she thought would help her through this.

When her tears had all dried up Joey had felt conviction slowly return to her heart. She loved Charlie. Charlie loved her. It was right, it was beautiful, and it was perfect. She knew she couldn't fix the damage that Ruby had caused; only she could heal that pain in Charlie. But Joey knew that she had to be there for Charlie, remind her it was worth it; remind her of the happiness and love they shared. She would fight for Charlie again, tear her away from her grief and hopefully bring back the woman she had woken up with this morning. The strong, happy, cheeky Charlie who had set her body on fire this morning, the desire in her eyes as deep as the ocean. The Charlie who loved her freely.

Joey continued staring out into the ocean, searching for answers. Charlie had stopped crying a few minutes ago, but still she remained silent, closed. So Joey waited. After awhile Joey felt Charlie lean against her, resting her head on her shoulder. Charlie reached for Joey's hand and grasped it tightly, linking their fingers. Joey quickly responded by wrapping her arm around Charlie, and kissing her hair softly as she soothingly rubbed Charlie's back. "I'm sorry for running Joey, I just couldn't stay, I needed to be on my own. I needed some space so I could stop the screaming in my head." Charlie's voice was a small tiny whisper, so defeated and broken. "You have nothing to apologise for Charlie. I can't begin to imagine what is going on inside of you, the hurt and pain you must be feeling. And I'm the reason for it, so I can understand why you would need some space. But I want you to know that I'm not angry or upset with you Charlie. My heart aches for you, I can't stand to see you in such pain, just because you love me. I can't promise that everything is going to be okay. But I can promise you that I'll always be here for you Charlie. I'm not letting you go, I'm not letting us go. What we have is so right, so beautiful, and so perfect. I'll fight for your happiness Charlie. I'll fight for you, always, because I love you." Joey continued to kiss Charlie's hair, hoping her words would break through the wall around Charlie's heart and bring her back. With every kiss she poured out as much love, support and compassion she could muster, hoping Charlie could feel it. She held her close, protecting her. After a while she felt Charlie slowly begin to relax, and hope began to rise in her heart. Charlie raised her head up from Joeys shoulder and cupped her cheek in her hand, gently rubbing her thumb across her skin. Joey stayed silent, staring into Charlie's eyes, enjoying the warmth of her touch. Charlie's eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, but instead of the pain and hurt Joey expected to see, they were over flowing with love. Joey's breath caught in her throat at the sight; Charlie had come back to her. A small smile broke out on Charlie's face before she lent in to place a small tender kiss on Joey's lips. Joey's heart and mind exploded; Charlie was kissing her on the beach in plain view of anyone who may be looking. The kiss was so soft, so sweet and so full of love, Joey felt herself drowning in the moment. "I love you Joey," whispered Charlie as she pulled back from the kiss, before wrapping her arms around Joey in a tight hug. Joey melted into the embrace, hot tears of happiness and relief coursing down her cheeks; perhaps everything was going to be okay?

Charlie and Joey had spent the remainder of the day together; thankful it was a weekend Charlie had off work. The had walked along the beach, had a lazy lunch at the diner, all the while chatting aimlessly, happiness and smiles returning as thoughts of Ruby were put aside once more. Even though Charlie had kissed her on the beach that morning, Joey continued to respect her space and appear as 'friendly' as possible. It had been hard though when Hugo had come up to them as they left the diner. Joey felt dislike and disgust wash over her as he talked to Charlie, openly flirting with her. The jealousy was driving her mad and she just wanted to grab Charlie's hand, to claim what was hers. Then Hugo had had the nerve to run his hand along Charlie's arm, as he asked her out for a drink later, right there in front of her! In that moment Joey had seen red and it took all her self-control to not pull Charlie to her and kiss her madly, to put sleazy Hugo not so subtly in his place. Thankfully Charlie opened her mouth at that moment to politely refuse Hugo's offer. As she extracted her arm from his touch, and to Joey's utter to amazement, Charlie had told Hugo that she had met someone else and was no longer interested in him. Joey struggled not to laugh at the shocked expression on Hugo's face, his ego bursting. They had made a quick exit and when they were out of earshot around the corner, Joey and Charlie burst into laughter leaning against the wall for support. Joey had admitted to Charlie about wanting to claim her, which had stopped Charlie's laughter in its tracks. Charlie's eyes flashed red hot with desire, and she pulled Joey in close claiming her with passionate kiss. Before Joey could even register what had happened, her heart and mind bursting with shock and desire, Charlie had pulled away from her to playfully declare. "I claim you Joey. You are mine. All mine." Still reeling with the shock from yet another stolen kiss anyone could of seen, it was all Joey could do but laugh. Happiness overwhelmed her as she welcomed the return of her cheeky, sexy Charlie, always surprising her. They had returned home to spend the afternoon cleaning and reorganising Charlie's room, making it their room. Joey had stopped every now and then to revel in this moment; she still couldn't believe this was finally happening, Charlie was bringing her into her life.

Now as the sun set was setting, Joey found herself finally finished with unpacking the last of her stuff she had hurriedly taken from Brett's house after dinner. Thankfully he was always at the pub on a Saturday night, getting drunk. She took the box of cds out to the lounge room, and feeling inspired by the warm evening breeze, put on the Buena Vista Social Club, feelings its smooth rhythms and summer sounds wash over her. She stood there for a minute, eyes closed, swaying as she listened to the music, happy and at peace. Suddenly she felt Charlie's arms wrap around her from behind, her soft lips gently kissing their way up her neck, leaving a path of goose bumps in their wake. Joey melted into the embrace as desire washed over her once more. They stood there, swaying to the music for what seemed like hours, smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. Joey could feel the electricity surging around the room, the feeling of Charlie's body pressed against her own driving her mad. She barely registered through the haze Charlie pulling away, grasping her hand and leading her towards the room. Joey followed Charlie blindly, the screaming of her body for her overpowering all her senses. In the privacy of their room she felt Charlie lead her gently towards the bed, her eyes black with desire and longing. Joey couldn't believe this was happening, not after everything that had happened. She let Charlie take the lead, wanting her to be in control, giving her the space to overcome her fears in her own time.

Joey's heart exploded with love as Charlie gently pulled her in for an endless, searing, passionate kiss. She found some strength to run her hands up and down Charlie's back, holding her close. Joey felt as though her legs might give way as she felt Charlie reach for the bottom of her t-shirt, pulling it gently over her head. Unable to focus on anything Joey closed her eyes as Charlie slowly ran her hands up her back to remove her bra. Her skin burned from where Charlie had touched her. Slowly she opened her eyes as she noticed Charlie's hands had stilled on her waist. The sight that met her eyes blew her mind. Charlie was staring at her, her eyes so full of wonder, love and desire, a single tear running down her flushed cheek. "You are so beautiful Joey." The honesty of her words rocked Joey to the core, no one had ever said that to her before. Suddenly overcome with emotion she ripped her eyes from Charlie's, unable to handle what she was feeling and what she saw in Charlie's eyes. Joey felt Charlie gently lift her chin, making her look at her again. "I love you Joey. You are beautiful." Joey melted with the honesty of her words, the overwhelming love that they spoke of making her feel weightless. "I love you too, Charlie" Joey whispered as she lent in to kiss Charlie, hoping to express the depth and strength of her feelings with a passionate kiss. Charlie gently pushed Joey onto the bed, before softly lowering herself atop of her, sliding a leg delicately between Joey's.

For a moment Charlie held herself above Joey on her elbows, staring lovingly into her eyes, a golden smile on her face. Joey marvelled in her beauty, her dark brown hair cascading over her shoulders, framing her slender, classical neckline. She let her eyes wander lower, over her favourite white singlet that perfectly moulded to her shapely body. Joey watched Charlie's chest rise and fall quickly, a rush of desire coursing through her as she realised she was the cause. She brought her eyes back up to Charlie, who met them with a stunning smile, her cheeks flushed, her eyes black with love and desire. "I want to be with you Joey, completely." Joey's heart skipped a beat and she felt her breath catch in her throat as the meaning and truth of her words shot through her, setting her skin ablaze. "I want to be with you too Charlie, completely." Joey returned Charlie's smile and felt her mouth become dry with anticipation. Slowly Charlie lowered herself onto Joey and began gently kissing her way down Joey's neck. Joey closed her eyes as the sensation of Charlie's kisses sent her wild. The pressure of Charlie's body on her own was exquisite. She felt Charlie's lips and hands gently move across her skin, exploring and claiming her body. Joey slipped her own hands beneath Charlie's singlet, running her hands up and down the smooth soft skin of her back, memorizing every inch she covered and the way it felt. Charlie didn't even hesitate as she moved a hand up to gingerly cup her breast. Joey saw fireworks behind her eyes, arching her back at the touch, her body exploding with desire. Then suddenly everything stopped and an ice-cold panic rushed through her body, sending her spiralling into uncontrollable fear. Images and memories of Robbo flashed through her mind over and over. His hands all over her body, grabbing at her roughly, bruising her skin. The weight of him as he pressed down on her. The pain and despair as he raped her. The madness in his eyes as he held her under the water. She thrashed madly beneath Charlie, needing to be free, hysteria driving her blind with panic. "Get off me!! Get off me!! Don't hurt me!!! Please Robbo don't hurt me!! Stop it!! Stop it!! NOOOOOOOOO!" Charlie threw herself off Joey, as she continued to thrash around madly on the bed, screaming at ghosts, tears streaming from her eyes, which were clouded over with panic. The last thing Joey recalled before she slipped into the nightmares that were ripping apart her body was the sound of Charlies voice. "Rachel, its Charlie, it's an emergency can you come straight over!! It's Joey... I don't know what to do! Help me!"


	18. Chapter 18

***Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I just lost all my inspiration when Joey left and Charlie didn't even say I love you and then channel 7 shutdown archive on youtube :( It's been a bad week :P This isn't everything I wanted to write for this chapter, but I thought I should just put up something small for now whilst I wait for my heart to mend. More soon I promise!! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews they keep me going!! ***

Charlie paced back and forth in the lounge room, wearing a hole in the carpet, her face white with fear and panic. Rachel had been with Joey for almost half an hour, but it had seemed like an eternity to Charlie. It had taken all of Charlie's strength not to burst into the room every other minute and wrap Joey in her arms; chase away her demons. But Rachel had been very insistent that she needed to be alone with Joey, in order to calm her down. But the screaming had been unbearable; the sound of Joey reliving all those horrors had been like red hot knife blades through Charlie's heart, ripping out her soul. So she had paced back and forth. Finally the screaming was replaced by silence, but Charlie could still hear Joey in her mind, her screaming only overpowered by all the thoughts racing around in her head. Why had she been so stupid?! Joey was raped and almost drowned and all she had been thinking about was ravishing her; how could she have been so insensitive?! Her lust had caused Joey to relive that pain all over again. They had never talked about what had happened because she had been so involved with running away from her feelings. How did she get to be so selfish?!

Charlie stopped her frantic pacing when Rachel quietly came into the room and sat on the sofa. "Is she going to be okay Rachel?!" Charlie could feel her legs begin to give way beneath her from the worry, so she hurriedly perched on the sofa next to Rachel, ready to run to her room as soon as was allowed. "I gave her some pretty strong drugs to calm her down. She will be out for the night. She has been through a great deal of trauma recently and from what I could gather she hasn't spoken to anyone about it." Charlie felt a pang of guilt in her gut; _she should have been able to talk to me_. "I'd like her to see a therapist, but in the meantime she is going to need a lot support from her friends, she needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen. She will get through this, she is a very strong young woman. She has you" Rachel squeezed Charlie's hand reassuringly, which made her feel calm again. Charlie vowed to herself she would be there for Joey, through all of this. "Look Charlie I don't want to pry, but what exactly is going on between the two of you? I'm just asking because there is something further about Joey's attack I need to talk to you about, but I didn't want to make the wrong assumptions..." Charlie knew this conversation was coming, but she was still nervous. "Joey and I are.... together. It only happened the other night..." Charlie was struggling, scared of Rachel was thinking. "That's wonderful Charlie. I must say I'm surprised, I didn't realise you were attracted to women. But I'm very happy for you." Charlie felt a surge of happiness and relief wash over her with Rachel's words; she was blessed with some amazing friends. "Thank you Rachel, that means the word to me. To be honest this hit my out of left field. I've never felt this way about a woman before. I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with what this all means about who I am. I'm in love with Joey, but I'm making us hide because deep down I think I'm embarrassed and confused. To make matters worse Ruby is completely disgusted by it and has gone to the city."

Rachel squeezed Charlie's hand and smiled at her with warmth and support. "Perhaps it might be good for you to speak to someone about this. I know some excellent people in the city who are specialised in dealing with sexuality issues. Just because you love Joey, it doesn't mean you are gay. You don't have to dismiss everything you knew about yourself, but rather you need to find how it links with what you are now discovering. Obviously in a small town you are going to face some issues, but if you are happy with who you are then you will find you have the strength to face them. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to." Charlie reached over and gave Rachel a warm, thankful hug, silent tears of gratitude and relief falling down her cheeks. "Thanks Rachel, for being such a good friend. For now I think I just want to figure this out for myself. I'm just not that good with sharing such personal things about myself with strangers." Charlie pulled away from the hug, and began fidgeting with her hands again, her legs becoming restless; she didn't like talking about herself when Joey was in their room, alone. She just wanted to be with her. Sensing Charlie's discomfort, Rachel reached over and grasped Charlie's hand reassuringly again.

"That's fine Charlie, just make sure you do what's right by yourself and Joey. Speaking of Joey, her recovery from this trauma is going to go through many different phases and will take time. For every victim the road to recovery is different. She may pull away from you physically now or she may seek out comfort from you. What's important is you let her decide when she is ready to be intimate again. This will be hard and confusing for you, especially because of the nature of your relationship and how new and unfamiliar it is. But just be supportive of her choices and desires, and just make sure she is doing what is right by her, not by you as a couple, if that makes sense?! She may feel the need to make up to you what happened, as she feels her attack may have made you uncomfortable, insecure or guilty. That is not an uncommon response, but it's unhealthy and will hamper her recovery. You just have to make sure she wants to be intimate with you for the right reasons. Be there for her." Rachel gave Charlie's hand one last squeeze before she awkwardly raised herself from the couch; her baby belly was getting bigger by the day. Charlie rose to show her to the door, her mind going over Rachel's advice and all that it meant for her and Joey. She just hoped she could give Joey the comfort and support she needed. "Thanks again Rachel, for everything. I'll let you know how things go."

Charlie gave Rachel another hug at the door, before walking slowly back to her room. Her legs felt weak with fear and worry about Joey. Will she be okay?! Will she ever let me touch her again?! Charlie stood at the door, trying to still her mind. Gently she opened the door, bathing Joey's gently sleeping figure in warm golden light. She looked so peaceful and calm, wrapped up in the doona all safe and warm, her demons at bay. Charlie watched Joey for a few moments, waves of love washing over her, chasing away her fears. She would fight Joey's demons with her, she would protect her because she loved her, completely, and she couldn't let any harm come to her. Charlie carefully got into bed behind Joey and wrapped her arm protectively around her sleeping body. She snuggled into her back and inhaled her sweet smell deeply. Joey was her everything, and she wasn't going to let Robbo destroy her life; Charlie would fight for her. Slowly Charlie drifted off to sleep, the horrors of Joey's attack melting away with each breath, as the warmth of Joey's body seeped through Charlie, filling her with love and peace.


	19. Chapter 19

Joey's eyelids felt like they were weighted, and she was unable to raise them. She drifted in and out of the drug-induced fog in her mind. She clambered for conscience, feeling herself rise tantalising close to reality only to slip back into the depths of sleep. She could sense movement around her, hear small noises, feel small touches send waves of comfort through her, yet nothing was strong enough to free her from the fog. Then there came the sweetest smell. It drifted around Joey's mind, leading her upwards, tempting her to awaken, to discover it source. She felt it bring a smile to her wakening face, she felt it make her tastebuds tingle and her stomach grumble. Slowly the scent brought her to the edge, light swimming behind her eyelids. Slowly but surely she found strength return in bursts, her eyelids beginning to flutter, until after what had seemed like an eternity the room slowly came into focus around her. First the window looking out across the scraggly seaside bush came into view, the sun kissed day outside looking golden and warm. Slowly she moved her head towards the source of the smell, her body still feeling like it was clad in lead, making every move almost impossible. Her eyes came to rest on the end of the bed and she was met with the image of an angel. Charlie was perched at the end of the bed, her long dark hair pulled back in a loose ponytail; some strands had escaped, framing her beautiful face. As their eyes met a warm, deep smile spread across Charlie's eyes and face, it was full of such love, concern and support it lit up the room like the sunshine outside. Joey took in the sight of her love, feeling the life return to her zombie like body, chasing away the fog the drugs had encased her in.

But still that magical smell eluded her and she slowly moved her eyes from Charlie, following the scent once more, needing to find its source with every ounce of her being. Just as she thought the smell was a figment of her imagination, a drug induced fantasy, her eyes came to rest on the bedside table. Sitting there was a simple wooden tray, upon which had been placed a single red rose beside a large white plate, pilled high with golden, fluffy pancakes. Joey breathed them in deeply, their sweet smell reminding her of all that could be good and innocent in the world. Charlie had made her pancakes. It was such a simple yet moving gesture. Her mind was still clouded by the drugs, the demons of the night before still at bay, allowing Joey to feel happy in this moment, to feel safe and warm. Allowing her to enjoy this simple pleasure. She turned to look at Charlie, a radiant smile spreading across her own face to match Charlie's. Her throat sore and dry, she managed to rasp out a few strangled words. "Thank you!" Charlie moved to come sit beside her, helping her to sit up in the bed. Joey inhaled her sweet smell and taste as Charlie gently kissed her lips. Joey felt her skin warm beneath her soft skin as Charlie cupped her cheek as she kissed her, the embrace full of tenderness and love. Joey became aware of her heart beginning to beat rapidly once more, the mere presence of Charlie overpowering her senses. Charlie slowly pulled away from Joey to reach for the breakfast tray, placing it gently on her lap; the smell of the pancakes was intoxicating. "I didn't know what toppings you liked so there's ice cream and maple syrup and lemon juice and sugar and butter and well I hope you like pancakes..." Charlie fidgeted with her hands, her head bowed in embarrassment, and Joey reached for them, grasping them reassuringly, willing Charlie to look at her. "Thank you Charlie. This is so sweet of you. I love pancakes!! Lemon, sugar and ice cream are my fav!"

Charlie smiled and Joey could sense the relief flowing through her. Joey knew they were going to have to face what had happened and she couldn't begin to imagine what hell Charlie had been through and what thoughts and pain she had inflicted upon herself as the result of her guilt. But for now she just wanted to be with her, to be happy and enjoy this time together, free from her demons. She wanted Charlie to relax, to feel happy too. Unable to resist any longer Joey hungrily began to devour the pancakes. The sweet, fluffy texture felt like heaven on her tongue, mixing devilishly with the tang of the lemon. She felt sticky juices and ice cream begin to drip down her chin, yet she felt like a child at a birthday party, unable to stop, giggling with delight between mouthfuls. Charlie sat there watching her, laughing and smiling, stealing pieces of pancakes when she could. Finally, feeling completely sated, Joey slumped back on her pillows, rubbing her belly and smiling with glee. Charlie removed the tray before leaning in to kiss away the lemon and ice cream from her chin, which caused Joey to laugh and squirm with carefree delight. She pulled Charlie in for a tight hug, and they lay there for a while as their giggles settled, happy and at peace. Charlie snuggled into Joey's embrace, draping her leg across Joeys doona covered body, and Joey felt a resounding sense of safety envelope her. She gently kissed the top of Charlie's head, and whispered gently in her ear. "I love you Charlie. Thank you for this, for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you." Joey felt Charlie gently kissed the back of Joey's hand, which she had been grasping tightly. "I love you too Joey. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you... Last night I... was just... just so... scared, terrified... helpless. I couldn't do anything but watch your demons tear you apart. It just ripped my heart apart Joey.... I'm so sorry. I've been so... selfish... so caught up in myself... I didn't think of you... I'm so sorry... Can you ever forgive me?" Joey could feel the sobs begin to rip through Charlie's body as all the emotions that had been plaguing her all night coursed through her body.

It broke Joey's heart to see Charlie so broken and scared, blaming herself for something that was no one but sick Robbo's fault. Joey held onto Charlie tightly, willing her to feel all the love she felt through the embrace. She planted kisses upon her head and gently, reassuringly rubbed Charlie's back, willing away her pain, all the while trying to hang onto the joy and love that had surrounded them moments before, using it to fight away the demons of the night. "Ssssh Charlie. You have nothing to feel sorry for. You have done nothing wrong. Robbo is the only one who is to blame. Charlie if I didn't have you I know I would be lost, unable to face what has happened to me. You keep me safe, keep me sane. Your love, our love is what will get us through this. It is what separates us from the evil that plagues Robbo. Don't ever feel that your love hurts me. It has saved me countless times over. I was scared to think about what had happened, I couldn't talk about it before because I just... couldn't. But now I've been rudely shown that I have to, I can't avoid this. I want to talk to you Charlie, I need to talk to you because I know you're the only person who'll be able to fight this with me. But I need you to forgive yourself first, I need you to realise this isn't your fault. Because this is going to take everything I've got, and everything you've got." Joey held onto Charlie tightly, hoping that her plea had been enough to convince Charlie she wasn't at fault. To give her strength, because Joey knew she was going to need all of Charlie's strength to get through this, because she couldn't fight these demons on her own. She couldn't face HIM without Charlie.

Slowly Charlie's crying eased until she able to raise herself off the bed, wiping the tears from her face. She stood defiant, tall and strong next to the bed, strength and resilience swirling about her, filling Joey, strengthening her. Charlie reached out her hand to Joey, love and support written across her face, mingled with a small amount of fear, reminding Joey that her saviour was indeed human. "I'll always be here for you Joey. We will beat this." Joey took a hold of Charlie's hand and let her pull her from bed and into her warm, welcoming arms. Joey melted into the hug, drawing strength from Charlie, feeling her love surround her. She could feel the panic, pain and terrifying helplessness of the night before, and all the memories that had been reborn, beginning to scratch at the back of her mind, but in Charlie's arms she could hold them at bay, until it was time to fight. "I love you Charlie" Joey squeezed Charlie tightly before capturing her soft lips for a gentle kiss. "I love you too Joey" Whispered Charlie, as she stared intently into Joey's eyes, a warm smile retuning to her beautiful face, causing Joey's breath to hitch at the sight. Even in the darkest of times Charlie's beauty continued to steal away Joey's breathe, and she welcomed this moment of normality, knowing it would be one of a few that day, once the demons were released.


	20. Chapter 20

**I've split this chapter in two because I'm having trouble writing the gritty bit at the end. So sorry if it doesn't flow properly, but as soon as my ideas queen has come up with an answer for me I'll put up the rest! :)**

Joey towelled her hair on the way to the bedroom, her mind a hundred miles away. Her skin was red raw, even in the shower she hadn't been able to escape the sickening flashes. She had collapsed on the floor of the shower, trembling, letting the hot water rush over her, willing it to wash away the feeling and smell of Robbo that the memories were filling her senses with. Panic overtaking her once more she had resorted to scrubbing every inch of her body, trying to forcibly remove the memories from her body. But still she could feel him, smell him all over her. She felt as though she had been transported back to that day, and she was all alone again. But she wasn't, she had Charlie. So with every ounce of conscience thought she had she willed images, memories of Charlie to surface. Slowly but surely the flashes subsided, the panic ebbed and she was free once more, tantalising and happy memories now flashing across her eyes. Now as she walked to the bedroom Joey debated to herself whether or not to tell Charlie about this latest episode. She didn't want to worry her, yet at the same time it was scary that these flashes could just happen at any time. Joey flopped down on the bed, and breathed deeply of the lingering smell of pancakes, a smile spreading across her face as she patted her fully stomach. "Come on lazy bum! It's a beautiful day outside, I've packed a picnic, and I reckon it's high time we took that walk to the lighthouse!" Charlie stood in the doorway, hands on her slender hips, putting on the cutest serious face it was all Joey could do but jump of the bed and plant a chaste kiss on her lips. "Aye, Aye Captain!" Joey grabbed Charlie's hand, relishing in its soft warmth, and pulled her excitedly towards the kitchen.

They had decided to spend the day together, just the two of them, so they could talk about last night without interruption but to mix it with doing something fun, so the day wasn't clouded over by only sadness. The four walls of Leah's house had slowly been closing in on them, so a long overdue trip to the lighthouse it was. "Oh Joey, before I forget, Frank from the boat called whilst you were in the shower. He said to remind you to be at the dock at 7am tomorrow?!" Joey stopped tying her sneakers mid motion; she had completely forgotten about her new job! She had completely forgotten to tell Charlie, and she felt the guilt rising in her cheeks as she stared at the floor, unable to face Charlie. "Oh Charlie, I'm sorry, I completely forgot to tell you! I wanted to, don't get me wrong... but you ambushed me behind the boatshed, which well caused it to slip from my mind amongst other things, then everything with Ruby, then last night... it just slipped my mind... I'm sorry." Joey continued to stare at the floor, finding seemingly endless interest in a piece of fluff. Charlie came to squat in front of Joey, lifting her chin, meeting Joey's worried and guilty gaze with one of humour and love, a playful smile spread across her face. "Oh Joey, with everything that has happened in the last few days, something was bound to slip through the cracks! I'm not angry with you in the slightest! If you've got a job on a boat, that's fantastic, it's where you belong!" Joey felt relief wash over her, followed by a warm rush of happiness and love; she was so lucky to have such an understanding and loving person in her life. Feeling the excitement begin to boil and bubble inside, as the realisation that tomorrow she'd be back out on the ocean, Joey felt the story spill forth from her. "Oh thank you Charlie, you are amazing! Charlie I'm SO EXCITED! When you were at work the other day, I was a wreck, just wandering lost. Then you messaged me and I was just so happy and everything seemed to be finally falling into place, except for one small thing; my job. My passion for the ocean had been hidden away for so long, because of Robbo and all the stuff that had been happening between us. But that afternoon as I wandered past the pier, I felt it return! And I was sooo lucky cause Frank was looking for a deckhand, and I'd helped him out once before so he hired me then and there!! Usually it'll just be day work but for my first shift it's a two-day trip up the coast. I don't want to leave you Charlie, it's going to hurt so much, but I'm also just so excited! The ocean is my home, I've missed it's beauty and wild secrets. When I'm out there I just feel so free, everything makes sense, and I feel like I belong." Joey trailed off, sheepishly realising she'd been babbling away like a crazy person.

Feeling her cheeks redden Joey struggled under Charlie's gaze; she was so embarrassed by her kid at Christmas excitement. A bemused grin spread across Charlie's face as she rose to her feet, holding out her hand to help Joey up before pulling her in for a tight hug. Joey buried her face in Charlie's hair, glad to be able to hide away as her blush deepened. "Oh Joey, I'm so happy for you! Don't be embarrassed by your passion, it is a beautiful and special gift. I may not share your love of cray pots and knots but just seeing the way your whole body lights up as you talk about the ocean is enough to make me tingle with excitement. I'm going to miss you like crazy though!! But I'm sure you'll make up for it when you get back!" Charlie cheekily tickled Joey's side, her words sending a wave of desire down her spine. Joey revelled in the sensation, relieved that the memories of Robbo hadn't stolen that from her; she still wanted Charlie with every inch of her body. Joey finished tying her shoes and grabbed her bag, before cheekily slapping Charlie on the bum before running out of the door, yelling behind her "Come on slow poke, last one to the light house is a rotten egg!" Joey ran towards the beach, a smile plastered across her face, happiness and love enveloping her; for now her nightmares forgotten.

They walked along the path towards the lighthouse, the gravel make a scratching sound beneath their feet. The ocean breeze played through the scraggly trees, weaving a calming soundtrack for the thoughts running through their minds. They'd spent the last half hour walking in a comfortable silence, each lost in their own daydreams, their throats raw from all the endless chatter they had shared at the start of the walk. Joey laughed to herself as she remembered how Charlie had gone onto explain in great detail the difference between two different pieces of paperwork, which in Joey's opinion did the same thing, yet to Charlie the second of the two had made her life that much easier since its introduction. Joey loved how passionate Charlie was about her job, even if her enthusiasm for paperwork and seminars on the correct detailing of evidence made her sound like a bit of a dweeb. _I guess my passion for boats and fishing is the same thing_ thought Joey, her cheeks reddening once more as she remembered how excited she had been to tell Charlie about her new job. Joey felt a pang of sadness in her heart when she realised she was going to be away from Charlie for two whole days, so soon after they had finally found each other. She also felt a little guilty for leaving Charlie on the day Ruby was meant to return. Joey sent out a silent prayer, to whoever was listening, that Ruby would find it in her heart to accept Charlie, to support her. Joey couldn't begin to imagine what would happen to Charlie if Ruby continued to reject her. _But surely Ruby couldn't continue to be so close minded?!_ Not wanting to let thoughts of Ruby ruin the walk, Joey let her eyes wander around her.

She marvelled in the twisted, knotted forms of the trees that defied all odds to prosper here on top of the cliff, at the mercy of the weather. She spied some golden yellow wild flowers peaking out from between the dry undergrowth, their delicate petals reaching towards the sun, yearning for it caress. She let her eyes wander along the path in front of her, winding itself slowly up the hill towards the lighthouse, her eyes finally coming to rest upon the slender shape of Charlie. Joey marvelled at how the muscles in her long tanned legs flexed with each step, their shape so perfectly moulded. Joey wished summer would last forever, not wanting the day to arrive when Charlie would stop wearing her short little shorts. Her eyes wandered higher, resting momentarily to admire her pert little bottom, which was shown off perfectly in her little shorts. Joey continued to take in all of Charlie, the curve of her waist, her slender arms which when wrapped around Joey made the world disappear, her classical neckline which Joey could kiss endlessly. Joey was so lost in Charlie's beauty, she tripped over a tree root, crying out in shock as she stumbled, which caused Charlie to stop and turn, worry plastered across her face. Joey's cheeks reddened with embarrassment at being caught out perving on Charlie. "You okay Joey, want to stop?" Joey started laughing, which caused Charlie to look at her quizzically. "I'm fine Charlie, I was just....ahh well I.... got distracted by the beautiful....ahhhh.....view.... in front of me..." Charlie's face reddened with her own embarrassment and self-conciseness as she realised what Joey was implying. "You cheeky little bugger Miss Collins. I ask you to please refrain from perving on me in public, it is very improper! I believe it is only fair that you return the favour and walk in front from now on!" Joey laughed from deep in her belly at Charlie's playful comment and gleefully obliged, placing a chaste kiss on Charlie's lips as she passed. She then proceeded to walk up the path, swaying her hips and bottom suggestively, blowing kisses over her shoulder and winking at Charlie mischievously. Charlie laughed, a radiant smile across her lips, desire flaring in her eyes. Joey enjoyed the effect she had over Charlie, a cheeky smile plastered across her face as she walked the remaining distance up the hill.

Charlie and Joey sat, staring out across the ocean, watching the swell rise and fall, its gentle rhythm hypnotizing them. Charlie had her arm draped around Joey's shoulder, holding her close. Joey had melted into the unexpected embrace, hope swelling in her heart at this sign that Charlie was slowing growing more comfortable being with her in public. She knew how hard this must be for Charlie and she appreciated every small gesture that she made. Joey felt her breathing fall into time with the ocean as the cool salty breeze played through her hair, caressing her face. She listened as the song of the sea called out to her, its voice magical and sweet, offering up its secrets. Joey let her mind fly free out across the ocean, soaring above the rolling waves like graceful bird. Her wanderings were cut short by the loss of Charlie's warmth as she removed her arm from around Joey to grasp her hands tightly. Joey felt a cold sweat break out on her forehead. She had known all along this was coming, yet she was still terrified to her core about having to willing face her demons. Charlie placed a tender kiss upon Joey's lips before scanning her face for a sign to proceed, her eyes so full of love and support, it gave Joey the strength she needed to smile meekly and nod slowly. "Joey, whatever happens just remember that I love you. That I'm here for you, and we will get through this. Rachel said that its important that you talk about what you are ready to talk about, at the pace you are comfortable with. You don't have to tell me everything now, just what you have the strength to." Charlie squeezed Joey's hand tenderly, before returning to look out across the ocean, conscience of giving Joey the space she needed to begin this battle. Joey watched Charlie's profile for a few minutes, taking in how her forehead was creased with worry, her lips tense and dry, her eyes constantly scanning the ocean yet never really seeing it, blinded by her concern for Joey. She was beautiful. Joey closed her eyes for a few moments as she slowly tore down the wall in her heart that had been keeping the memories at bay for so long. Once the wall was gone she felt the memories come rushing back, slamming into her mind with such force her eyes and mouth flew open. The words started flooding out of her, painfully wrenching all the pain that she had kept hidden in the dark depths of her heart back into her reality, forcing her relive it all as she shared her darkest of shames with Charlie.


	21. Chapter 21

**This is the rest of chapter 20; Joey telling Charlie about the rape (warning!). Sorry it took me so long to update, it was very hard to write. I must say a big thank you to .insomnia who helped and inspired me with how to write this chapter!  
**

I was down below in the galley. Cleaning. There were dirty mugs everywhere, some half full of cold coffee. Aiden was on deck. Well I thought he was. I could hear heavy steps moving around. But I felt safe. Then I heard the heavy boots clanging on the steel steps, making their way slowly below deck.

I smelt him first; rotten fish, sweat and sickly sour breath. It filled my nose and mouth, choking me. It made me sick. The panic set in then. I was frozen to the spot. I couldn't breathe. I was alone. With him. Aiden had left me.

I felt him come up behind me, the sound of his boots on the rough floor was deafening. He stood behind me, panting, not doing anything. I should of turned, tried to run. But I couldn't, I was paralysed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around roughly to face him. His skin ws so rough. He pushed himself against me.

The edge of the table cut into my back, stars flashed across my eyes from the pain.I clung to the pain, anything to avoid comprehending what I saw in his eyes. He had the eyes of a hungry wolf stalking its prey. They told me everything he was going to do to me before he touched me. Yet still I couldn't fight. It was as if I had withdrawn so far into myself with fear I couldn't control my body.

He kissed me. Roughly. Hungrily. He forced his tongue into my mouth. His taste made me want to vomit. I found myself beginning to struggle against him. I couldn't breathe. I was so scared. I was gagging yet he wouldn't stop. He forced himself further into my mouth. His teeth clanged against mine. His stubble scratched my face. I could feel him gather momentum. I could feel his body begin to change against me.

I found some strength, I tried to fight. I clawed at his arms, trying to push him away. Desperately. I managed to rip my mouth from his. I screamed. He didn't like that. He slapped me. All the strength left me in that moment. There was nothing I could do.

I was helpless. He had won.

He started grinding against me. Harder and harder. He ran his rough hands all over my body. He kneaded my breasts like a mad man. I was cold. Empty. He was so rough, so relentless.

I knew what was coming. I could see it in his eyes.

His breath ragid and sour on my face. He stopped for a second. It was my chance. But I didn't fight. I was trapped.

He pushed me down onto the floor. It was cold. I hit my head. He was naked, erect. My pants were gone. He was on top of me. His body so heavy. I couldn't breathe.

Pain. Blinding pain. Helplessness. Grunting. Sweat. Pounding.

My whole body on fire, such searing pain. Endless hot tears.

I screamed but no sound came out. There was nothing left in me. There was none of me left. I was gone. Broken.

I blacked out.

I came too as he pulled off me, sated. He pulled on his jeans and left. He looked at me with such triumph, such contempt.

I just lay there. My whole body ached. I felt his disgusting, sickly fluid flow from me. I smelt like him. He was all over me. I was so disgusted. I cried.

I yelled out as the rage came. Why hadn't I fought him? Why had Aiden left me? What did I do to deserve this? Why me?

I don't know how long I lay there, but somehow I felt myself rise. I grabbed my pants and somehow managed to dress myself. I continued to clean up the galley. I don't know why. I guess I was in shock, denial, I just wanted to continue on as if nothing happened. But with every movement pain shot through my body, memories flashed across my eyes. I fled, panic and fear and revulsion pushing me up to the deck.

The light was blinding. I was mad, insane with terror, I ran into the ropes, tripped over the pods until I finally found the side of the boat. I vomited then, trying to rid my body of him. I was so disgusted. I sank to the deck as the convulsions ebbed. I just sat there, vomit dripping down my tshirt, staring across the deck at the water.

A sight that usually brought me such joy just left me empty. I felt nothing.

Slowly I managed to pull myself up, my legs were weak, I didn't think they would hold me. I stumbled home, glad that Brett was out. I fell into the shower and curled up on the floor. I turned the hot tap on and let the water scald me. I wanted to rid myself of him. I wanted to be clean. I just wanted to feel, something, anything.


	22. Chapter 22

_**So it has been a rather long time since I updated.... sorry! Thanks to everyone who sent me messages, they gave me the kick in the bum I needed. This is a rather short update, and not my finest work, I'm a bit rusty!!! **_

Seconds turned into minutes, which bled into hours. Clouds gently rolled across the sky and the sun gradually dipped closer and closer to the horizon. Slowly the pale baby blue sky melted into soft pinks and oranges as sunset approached. Charlie sat staring out at the ocean, her face etched with the salty trails of dried up tears. She held Joey tightly in her arms, slowly and calmly rocking her back and forth. Joey was silent now, her crying had ebbed and her body had stopped convulsing with anger and desperation. Following her recounting of Robbo's sickening attack Charlie had held onto Joey tightly as the tears had come, followed by the heart wrenching sobbing and finally the blind anger. Joey had screamed out in rage and flayed her arms madly against Charlie. _Why me? What did I do? Why did he have to ruin my life? Why? This isn't fair! _Charlie had simply held Joey, adsorbed every blow, wishing and willing Joey's pain to transfer to her with every hit. Charlie had barely even been aware of her own tears, her heartache over Joey's pain and the injustice of it all pouring forth from her silently. Finally, exhausted, Joey had simply slumped against Charlie, an empty shell, all her hurt and anger gone.

"Thank you Charlie." Joey's whispered words were barely audible over the howl of the ocean. Slowly Joey sat up and turned to cup Charlie's face in her hands. "I love you" Charlie felt fresh tears stinging her eyes, and she felt her strength begin to crumble as she took in Joey's ravaged face. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks pale and tear stained, yet she was smiling and the darkness that had always dimmed the sparkle in her eyes was gone. Charlie kissed Joey gently before hugging her tightly as her own sobs overtook her body, all the anger, guilt and frustration she had felt rushing forth from her as relief swarmed through her body. "I love you too" Mumbled Charlie into Joey's hair. Charlie hung onto Joey tightly, relieved to know that she had come through the darkness. "I know that it's still going to take some time to get over this, and maybe I won't ever completely, but just letting go today, finally facing what happened, it has made me feel free for the first time. I feel like I can be happy without feeling ashamed and dirty. I feel like I can just be me again." Charlie pulled back from the hug to meet Joey's smile with one of her own. "I promise I will be there for you Joey, to help you get through this, no matter what it takes. I'm sorry I wasn't before" Charlie sealed her promise with a tender, lasting kiss, hoping to convey all the love she felt and the truth of her words.

They sat in joyful silence for a few more minutes, their hands entwined and smiles across their faces, watching the setting sun, peaceful and together. As the last rays of light threatened to pass across the horizon Charlie rose to her feet and turned to face Joey, her breath catching in her throat as she did. Joey's face was bathed in golden sun and it was the most serene and peaceful she had ever seen it. Charlie's heart lept once more, the strength of the love she felt in that moment was both overwhelming and terrifying. She didn't think it was possible to love someone this much, yet it seemed her love was only growing stronger. It was consuming her with such fire Charlie knew in that instant that she could never love anyone else like she did Joey and that she would be completely lost without her. All her life Charlie had kept herself apart from others, never really growing close to anyone, even Ruby, and it scared her to realise that she had completely given herself to Joey. Yet at the same time it brought her such happiness and she realised that the loneliness she had always felt was gone. Charlie shook her head and laughed to herself, all these heartfelt musings that Joey was envoking in her were turning her into a lovesick puppy . Charlie's laughing broke Joey from her revere. "What's so funny?" Charlie grabbed Joey's hand, pulling her to her feet. With laughter in her voice Charlie replied "I was just laughing at how being around you had reduced me to such a pile of mush, and that all my thoughts about how much I loved you were starting to make me feel like a hallmark card." Joey playfully tickled Charlie's side "Who'd have thought, tough cop Charlie Buckton was really all mushy inside, oh how adorable!" Charlie tried to put on her best tough cop face, which sent Joey made with giggles. "You can't fool me!" Laughing Charlie planted a sloppy kiss on Joey's lips before grabbing her hand and leading her towards home, their laughter and happiness echoing through the dusk tinged night.


End file.
